Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's world as economies grow many people are migrating to the cities from the countryside. While this may provide them with better opportunities, I believe this may have a negative impact on their physical and mental health making it a negative development.

While urban areas are more promising in terms of opportunities and employment, cities are much more polluted compared to the countryside. As a result, there may be a negative effect on the physical health of the rural people due to higher air pollution as they are used to the fresh air of the countryside. Additionally, there are not many job vacancies in the city so it may be difficult for the newcomers to find a stable job and pay the high mortgage of city apartments. This might have a negative effect on their mental health causing them stress. There is also the possibility of people from rural areas being mistreated in the workplace which will add onto their workload. For example, people may need to move back to the countryside if they are not able to financially support themselves in the city or simply because they are too stressed out.

However, moving to the city will provide rural people with more work experience and opportunities. They may come to the cities to pursue higher education and use that knowledge to help bring developments to the countryside. In those cases, moving to the city may be a positive development.

Ultimately, people from rural areas should come to the city for education purpose or to develop skill before using that knowledge back in their hometowns rather than permanently moving to the city side.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you regard rural-to-urban migration as mainly negative because of possible effects on health and financial security. You also acknowledge benefits such as employment and education, so the response addresses both sides of the question. However, the main arguments are not consistently developed. For instance, the claim that there are “not many job vacancies in the city” is asserted without explanation or evidence, and the example of people returning home is hypothetical rather than a specific illustration. The final paragraph introduces a recommendation about temporary migration, but does not fully connect it to the overall judgement. Develop fewer points with clearer explanation and a concrete example to make your response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph explaining disadvantages, a paragraph acknowledging benefits, and a concluding position. Linking expressions such as “As a result,” “Additionally,” and “However” help readers follow the main shifts in argument. The progression is generally logical, but the first body paragraph contains several separate claims—pollution, employment, housing costs, workplace treatment, and stress—which makes the central line of reasoning less focused. The example about returning to the countryside also follows several points without clearly illustrating one of them. Group related ideas and use clearer references to show how each example supports your position; this would make the cohesion less list-like and more controlled.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “migrating,” “employment,” “air pollution,” “stable job,” and “higher education.” These choices make the discussion understandable, and some phrases show an attempt to express more specific ideas. However, several expressions are imprecise or awkward, such as “pay the high mortgage of city apartments,” “add onto their workload,” and “city side.” “Opportunities” is also repeated, and “negative effect” recurs without much variation. Aim for more natural collocations and precise wording—for example, distinguish housing costs from mortgage payments, and describe workplace mistreatment directly. This would make your vocabulary more flexible and accurate while preserving the clear meaning of your ideas.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concessive opening (“While this may provide them with better opportunities…”) and a cause-and-effect construction (“which will add onto their workload”). Most sentences communicate their meaning clearly, and punctuation generally supports the argument. Some grammatical choices need attention: “for education purpose” requires a plural or article (“for educational purposes”), while “before using that knowledge back in their hometowns” has an unclear subject and structure. The long opening sentence would also be easier to read with a comma after “world.” Continue practising accurate noun phrases and sentence construction, especially when expressing recommendations or linking actions to their subjects.

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