Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

People from the rural areas are moving to the developed cities for better opportunities, therefore, the community rapidly decreasing in the countryside. This trend, in my opinion, has a negative development compares to the positive ones. I will discuss about this in this essay.

On one hand, there is a drastic increase in the development of the cities due to fast industrialisation. Individuals have better option to make their personal lives better in the cities by getting better education and job opportunities. This is the reason that attracts people to the cities. Despite, many positive aspects of individual's lives, there are some drewbacks attached. Due to the rapid rise in the population of the cities, public services like trains and buses get affected negatively. Additionally, The rent prices are also rising very fast. For instance, I recently read in the newspaper that the rent of the 2BHK apartment increased 30% in the last 2 years in Melbourne.

On the other hand, population in the regional area are decreasing fast. Therefore, the rural area are becoming ghost villages with very few people or no people at all. As the farming was the main job of most of the individuals in rural area, we can see the fall in the farm production in recent years. Despite having big farm land in countryside, government had to import big quantity of the food from other countries to cop up with the food shortage and this affects the economy. For example, Australia imported 45% of grain from Asia during 2024 to 2025.

In conclusion, despite having many advantages for the individuals to move to the cities, overall economy gets negative impact of this development at the end.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you consider rural-to-urban migration negative overall, and the conclusion returns to this view. You address effects in both locations, supporting urban pressures with rising rents and transport problems, and rural decline with reduced farm production and food imports. This gives the response relevant coverage and some specific support. However, the discussion is uneven: the city paragraph acknowledges benefits but focuses mainly on costs, while the rural argument would be stronger if it explained more clearly how population loss reduces agricultural output and affects the wider economy. The examples are specific, but their connection to the central judgement could be made more explicit. Develop the causal links and weigh the individual benefits against the broader consequences more directly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The sequence from urban effects to rural consequences is easy to follow, and signposts such as “On one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers navigate the argument. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and some links do not express the intended relationship accurately. For example, “Despite, many positive aspects” is an awkward transition, while “Therefore” before the description of ghost villages does not clearly show the cause-and-effect link. The opening also promises to discuss the issue without previewing the main reasons. Use fewer formulaic transitions and connect each claim to the next with clearer references and logical links.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic-related vocabulary, including “industrialisation,” “public services,” “population,” “farm production,” and “food shortage.” These choices make the main ideas clear, and the examples give the discussion some specificity. There are also attempts at more precise expressions, such as “ghost villages,” though this is somewhat dramatic in an academic essay. Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “has a negative development,” “better option,” and “cop up with the food shortage.” Spelling errors such as “drewbacks” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural academic combinations and check spelling; this would make your vocabulary more precise and flexible without changing the substance of your argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including cause-and-effect structures and subordinate clauses, as in “As the farming was the main job … we can see the fall in the farm production.” Most of the meaning remains understandable, and the paragraph structure helps readers follow the argument. However, some errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence construction remain. For example, “the community rapidly decreasing” needs a finite verb, “population … are decreasing” has a subject–verb agreement problem, and “government had to import” needs an article or plural form. The opening sentence also joins two independent ideas with “therefore” in a way that needs clearer punctuation or restructuring. Review agreement and article use, and edit each sentence for a complete, correctly linked structure.

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