Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent decade, people from rural side of the country moving to cities for better life opporchunities. While some argue that is a negative development i contend that for having high living standard and employment rate it would be postive development.

On one hand, the argument against this view is that cities are already pumped up with overpopulation and there are less number of people living in countryside. The move people move to cities result in high unemployement in the cities as the position are already few for people. For instance the diversity of people living in a country should be equal if one part of country have high number of population while other low could cause unnessary problems.

On the other hand, due to the family condition and facilities provided in the rural part of the country are too few. Families usually move to cities so they can have live life more easily with better facilities like medical services and availability of clean drinking water. Usually cityside have more employment opporchinities and skillful people from rural side are mostly man power like farmers who can work in different sectors to earn there livelihood and can provide for their families. For example most families who move to cities are most likely to have high life than that of rural life.

In my opinion, government should have inclusive oriented policies same for all people. The country side should have adequate medical and education facilties more. So people have employment in those areas and they dont have to move to cities which could cause overpopulation particular part of the country.

In conclusion, despite i recognise the drawbacks of people moving to cities but i believe the development in that case shouldnt be overlooked as it could provide basic life opporchinities to the families.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address the question and state a clear overall view: moving to cities can be positive because it offers better living standards and employment opportunities. The response also recognises a counterargument, including pressure on city jobs and population imbalance, and proposes improving rural services. These points are relevant, but some are not fully explained. For example, the claim that rural migrants cause unemployment is asserted without showing how this happens, while the example about families having a “high life” is vague and does not clearly support the point. Your conclusion also says the development should not be overlooked, which makes your positive position less precise. Develop each main reason with a clearer explanation or specific example, and keep your judgement consistent throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, contrasting body paragraphs, a paragraph on government policy, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “On one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the broad direction. However, some links are mechanical, and progression within paragraphs is not always clear. In the first body paragraph, the move from overpopulation to unemployment and then to population balance needs more explicit explanation. Phrases such as “the move people move” also interrupt the flow, while “In my opinion” introduces a policy recommendation without clearly connecting it to your judgement about whether migration is positive or negative. Use clearer referencing and link each supporting sentence directly to its paragraph’s main idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “overpopulation,” “employment opportunities,” “medical services,” and “clean drinking water,” which helps communicate the main ideas. However, the range and control are limited by repeated general words such as “people,” “cities,” and “facilities,” as well as inaccurate or unnatural expressions. “High living standard” and “high life” do not express your meaning naturally, and “cityside” is not an appropriate term here. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “opporchinities,” “unemployement,” and “facilties.” These issues sometimes make the reader work to interpret your points. Build a more precise set of collocations for migration, rural services, and employment, and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex forms, including a contrast clause beginning “While some argue…” and a conditional structure with “if one part of country…”. However, errors in sentence construction and basic grammar occur often enough to affect clarity. For example, “people from rural side of the country moving to cities” lacks a finite verb, and “the position are already few” has problems with agreement and sentence structure. Articles and plurals are also inconsistent, as in “one part of country” and “facilities…are too few.” Some long sentences combine several ideas without clear grammatical links. Practise forming complete clauses, checking subject–verb agreement and articles, and dividing complex ideas into controlled sentences.

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