Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In numerous countries across the world, people who live in the countryside are moving to the urban cities, as a result, the number of people are deterorating in rural areas. This essay will discuss the negative effects that occur because of this shift. For example: how rural areas stay technologically underdeveloped and how healthcare facilities in rural areas become scarce.

Rural areas are staying technologically underdeveloped because people who are educated or skilled are moving to large cities. Because of this, some rural areas do not have basic internet facilities or even electricity. Along with that, if we look at the urban areas, because of the increasing population, many problems are occurring in cities as well. For example: Shortage of accommodations and job opportunities.

In addition, the healthcare facilities are very poor in rural areas, as all the skilled doctors shift to cities and there is a lack of medical equipments as well. Because of this, a lot of people die due to lack of treatment, as some health issues are not possible to treat in rural places, so people need to travel to the cities to have proper treatment. For example: Severe surgeries like heart surgeries are impossible to happen in rural areas.

In conclusion, the shift of people from rural areas to urban areas and cities is indeed a negative development because of the lack of basic facilities in rural areas and also the accommodation and job opportunity issues in cities. So, the people who have the power to change the situation should give proper attention to this matter.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you regard rural-to-urban migration as negative, and the conclusion restates this view. You give relevant reasons, especially the loss of skilled workers and the shortage of healthcare in rural areas, and the examples of internet access and complex surgery help explain the effects. However, the two main points are not developed equally: the technology point is asserted rather than supported with a specific consequence or example, while the healthcare point receives more explanation. The brief mention of housing and jobs in cities is relevant but is not explored. To strengthen the response, explain the causes and consequences of each point more fully and connect the city-related effects more clearly to your overall argument.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the ideas generally progress from rural infrastructure to healthcare before returning to your position. Linking expressions such as “In addition” and “In conclusion” help signal this progression. Some connections are less smooth or precise, however. The opening uses “as a result” to join two complete ideas with a comma, and the examples introduced by “For example:” feel detached from the sentences around them. The discussion of city problems also appears briefly within the technology paragraph without being fully connected to that point. Use a wider range of linking methods within sentences and make each example explicitly support the paragraph’s main idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “technologically underdeveloped,” “healthcare facilities,” “skilled doctors” and “lack of treatment.” There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “accommodation” and “severe surgeries.” However, several noticeable word-choice, collocation and spelling problems limit precision: “the number of people are deterorating” is not an appropriate way to describe a falling population, “urban cities” is redundant, and “medical equipments” uses an uncountable noun as a plural. “Severe surgeries” is also an unnatural collocation. Aim for accurate, natural combinations and check spelling; this will make your argument clearer and more flexible without changing its meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses with “because,” “as” and “if,” and most of your meaning remains clear. Some sentences show an attempt to explain cause and effect, such as the sentence beginning “Because of this” in the healthcare paragraph. There are nevertheless some grammatical and punctuation errors. In the opening, a comma joins two independent clauses before “as a result”; use a full stop or a correctly structured conjunction. “The number of people are” has subject–verb disagreement, and “people need to travel … to have proper treatment” would be clearer with a more accurate infinitive construction. Avoid sentence fragments after “For example:” and use punctuation that integrates examples into complete sentences. More consistently controlled complex sentences would improve accuracy.

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