Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born.

What might be the reasons for this?

What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

A few individuals stay nearby their birth place throughout their lives. This essay intends to shed light on the advantages and disadvantages.

To commence with, the advantage of living near to where they were born is, it allows them to give more importance to their family and stay connect to their roots. To expound, since people are commonly born in a hospital near their home, they have abundance of love and support from their loved ones. They attend schools in the vicinity, making friends in the nearby region. As a result, they are able to foster their relationships with family and friends. To exemplify, in 2022, an assessment was conducted by the Government of Canada on the immigrants of the country for measuring their happiness index. People who to Canada as a first member of their families have one element in common. They are pointed that they sacrificed their personal time with family to achieve a better life for themselves and their family. It is also said that, people who live close to the place where they were born have a greater sense of satisfaction, as they are able to look after their family, land and other materialistic things which they posses. Subsequently, they have lesser reasons to stress for.

Despite the above mentioned reasons there are some disadvantages to the trend of living close to place of birth. The major one is, limited access to high paying jobs and developed infrastructure. To elaborate, since some people are born in small towns and villages, they have fewer number of jobs, which restrict their financial growth. Additionally, they do not get access to the world class city infrastructure such modern libraries, hospitals and well developed recreational parks. Consequently, it hinders their economic and personal development.

To recapitulate, this essay has discussed that benefits such as better quality of relationships and greater sense of satisfaction are the plausible advantages whereas also discussed that limited employment opportunities and access to modern amenities are some credible disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, identifying reasons for staying in one's birthplace and discussing both advantages and disadvantages. The ideas are relevant and generally well-developed. However, the example provided regarding the Canadian government's assessment is somewhat tangential and not fully integrated into the argument about staying in one's birthplace, as it focuses on immigrants rather than the specific topic of the prompt. To reach a higher band, ensure that examples are more directly aligned with the specific context of the question. Overall, the position is clear and the response is balanced.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the advantages and disadvantages. Cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'To elaborate', and 'To recapitulate' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as 'They are pointed that they sacrificed', which is grammatically awkward and affects the flow. Despite these minor issues, the progression of ideas is clear throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task. You use some good collocations like 'foster their relationships', 'financial growth', and 'modern amenities'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and phrasing, such as 'stay connect to their roots' (should be 'connected') and 'they have lesser reasons to stress for' (should be 'less reason to be stressed'). Additionally, 'materialistic things which they posses' is slightly unnatural. While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the response from reaching a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'stay nearby their birth place' (should be 'near their birthplace'), 'people who to Canada' (missing verb), and 'they have fewer number of jobs' (should be 'a smaller number of jobs'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are instances where commas are missing or used incorrectly, such as 'The major one is, limited access'. While the meaning is always clear, the frequency of these minor errors indicates a need for more careful proofreading to improve accuracy.

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