Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-09
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born.
What might be the reasons for this?
What are the advantages and disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In recent years, celebrities and social media influencers have a significant impact on youngsters. Some individuals argue that these famous personalities have a strong impact on young people, while others believe that young people are more influenced by their parents and teachers. This essay will elucidate both perspectives, and in my opinion, a balanced approach is a sustainable solution.
Starting with the former view, in contemporary societies, adolescents follow various well-known people on social media platforms. They have a keen observation on their clothings, posted photographs and holidays. They want to copy their lifestyle and habits. They want to keep them updated according to the current living styles in terms of their routines or lifestyles. For example, young people try to follow their appearance by buying the same brand they are wearing in professional photographs. As a result, they expect to enjoy the same lifestyle as is enjoyed by famous personalities as they are much appealing to them.
Starting with the latter view, parents and teachers have a prevalent impact on teenagers as they spent most of the time under their influence. The reason behind it is that most of the children spent time either with their families or at school at early age. If right guidance is provided under appropriate survillence, a child will definitely adapt a healthy lifestyle and a socially responsible person. For instance, if parents and teachers include physical activities along with healthy eating habits a child can live
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0
The response is significantly off-topic. The prompt asks about the reasons, advantages, and disadvantages of living close to one's birthplace. However, the essay discusses the influence of celebrities versus parents on young people. Consequently, the task is not addressed. Additionally, the response is under the 250-word minimum, which further impacts the score. Because the content does not relate to the prompt, it fails to develop any relevant ideas or provide a position on the actual question asked.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, and there is an attempt to use transition signals like 'Starting with the former view' and 'Starting with the latter view'. However, because the content is irrelevant to the prompt, the logical progression is undermined. The referencing is generally clear, but the lack of a conclusion and the abrupt ending of the final sentence indicate a lack of overall control in structuring the response effectively.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is adequate for basic communication but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are some awkward collocations, such as 'keen observation on their clothings' and 'prevalent impact'. The word choice is somewhat repetitive, and there are minor errors in word form, such as 'survillence' (spelling) and 'adapt' instead of 'adopt'. The range is limited to common, everyday language, which prevents the demonstration of more sophisticated lexical control.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'they spent most of the time' (tense inconsistency) and 'a child will definitely adapt a healthy lifestyle and a socially responsible person' (missing verb/preposition). Punctuation is generally functional, but the incomplete final sentence significantly affects the grammatical accuracy of the piece. While the meaning is usually clear, the frequency of errors is noticeable.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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