Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-09
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born.
What might be the reasons for this?
What are the advantages and disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
A section of society believe that women should be allowed to join the army, navy and air force in the same way as men. I partially agree with this opinion. This essay will discuss both aspects in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, there are many reasons why women should be joining same jobs as men. The first and the foremost reason is that women should have equal opportunities to serve themselves to country. A large number of women are not only physically but also mentally strong for working in army forces. They can perform different roles, such as doctors, engineers, pilots and soldiers. Secondly, women can bring different skills and ideas to the military. Moreover, women are naturally less aggressive and peaceful these qualities are perfect for the force.
On the other hand, some people believe that woman is less physically strong as compared to men because women have some physiological barriers in joining the force. To explain it, women have to give birth to the child and also nurture them. So, they need maternity leave for that. If women are in the force, it would be impossible for them to get leave at the time of war. Moreover, many people think that women's main work is to prepare food and take care of the children. That's why they do not give permission to women for joining these jobs.
In conclusion, although women are equal for doing jobs in the world because of their skills and fitness, some people argue that they cannot survive along with their family and these types of jobs. So, according to me, women should be allowed to join the army, navy and air force.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 1.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 1.0
The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks for reasons, advantages, and disadvantages regarding people living close to their birthplace. However, the essay discusses whether women should be allowed to join the military. Because the response fails to address the specific task question entirely, it cannot be assessed for task achievement in relation to the prompt provided. In an actual examination, this would result in a very low score for Task Response as the content is irrelevant to the instructions given.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is structured with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which shows a basic understanding of paragraphing. However, the logical progression is irrelevant to the prompt. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Secondly', and 'On the other hand' are used, but they serve to connect ideas that do not answer the set question. The referencing is clear, but the overall coherence is undermined by the fact that the content does not relate to the task instructions.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for expressing simple ideas, though it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are some awkward collocations, such as 'serve themselves to country' instead of 'serve their country' and 'join same jobs' instead of 'join the same professions'. The range is somewhat limited, relying on basic descriptive terms. While the vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the writer's (off-topic) argument clearly, it does not demonstrate the flexibility or sophisticated control expected at higher levels.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'woman is less physically strong' (should be 'women are'), 'nurture them' (referring to a singular 'child'), and 'do not give permission to women for joining' (awkward phrasing). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are issues with article usage and subject-verb agreement. While the errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to suggest a lack of control over more complex grammatical forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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