Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born.

What might be the reasons for this?

What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In this modren era , few number of people wants to stay remain there they grown up .

we will discuss what reasons behinds thats and positive and negative aspects of stay there

remains will be discuss in upcoming paragraphs.

there is multifarious ground for that but, a huge reason is family and business. although,

friends and comforts zones also responsible for that some don,t want to seattle anywhere in

world. third reason is most valuable is peace .

on one hand , positive sides to remain stay there is family and business . when anyone stay with there family he know very well know how is famiily runs his mill empire because it grown well and reputated . furthermore, peace have curcial role in life because nowdays mostly people suffer from stress and deppression .for that , people wants to stay with families to be happy. for instace, adani is one of a biggest bussinesmen of a south asian community. he grows well they have family support and startup of bussiness .

on the other hands , negative side is people did not become self independent till they dont leave his or her birthplace . afterthat, person who is unable to tackle a issue surge in life or workplace experience . In addittion to this, they dont explore communities and others thinking about same aspects they want to do . for example , vasso de gama leaves his native land land explore america and india . when people thing earth finish at that point .

To sums up, this point for all the lifespan people wants to stays there have a positive aspects as well as negative aspects in re

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing reasons why people stay in their birthplace as well as the advantages and disadvantages. However, the development of ideas is limited and somewhat superficial. For example, while the writer mentions family, business, and peace as reasons, the explanations are brief and heavily impacted by language barriers. The mention of historical figures like 'vasso de gama' attempting to illustrate the disadvantages is historically confused and poorly integrated. The position is discernible, but the overall task response suffers from underdeveloped arguments and erratic execution, placing it firmly at a Band 5.0 level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

Paragraphing is attempted, but the text is fragmented into very short, often single-sentence paragraphs that lack clear overall progression. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as 'on one hand' and 'on the other hands', which contain plural agreement errors and do not successfully guide the reader through a balanced argument. Referencing is frequently unclear, as seen in pronouns like 'he know very well know how is famiily runs his mill empire' where the antecedents are confused. The organization shows some basic structure, but the lack of logical progression and faulty cohesive ties restrict this criterion to a Band 4.5, which rounds to a Band 5.0 descriptor profile for basic organizational attempts.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic and heavily repetitive, featuring frequent word-choice and spelling errors that impede smooth reading. Examples include 'modren', 'seattle', 'bussinesmen', and 'deppression'. While the student attempts some less common vocabulary such as 'multifarious' and 'curcial', these are used incorrectly or with awkward collocations. The range is limited and minimally adequate for conveying very basic ideas, but the density of lexical errors and misspellings means it cannot reach Band 6.0, fitting best into the Band 4.0 descriptor.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. The text contains a very limited range of structures, and attempts at complex sentences are almost entirely faulty. There are constant errors in subject-verb agreement ('a few number of people wants', 'people wants'), tense consistency, and basic sentence construction. Punctuation is also erratic, with spaces frequently placed before commas and periods. These frequent errors cause significant difficulty for the reader and distort meaning in several places, aligning with the Band 4.0 descriptors.

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