Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born.

What might be the reasons for this?

What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is often argued that birth place is very beautiful place where we were born. People like to live their where they spent early childhood. This is because when he or she were open their eyes in the world, this is the first place. This essay wil discuss the reasons for thisand its advantages and disadvantages. There are some reason why people stay close to their birthplace .

Firstly family and friends are the main reason , people feel safe and sequre .They feel very comfortable and no hasiting with their family. Some people prefer with joint family system .They really thinks it best for their family . They also have combine bussiness. Secondly cheap and easir .For example they need lot of money to move other city. They donot have any kind of family suport.With out family suport it is very difficult to move on new society.This is a big challenge for who want to move other place. So this the main reason people like to live to where they were born . It is possible if you have job and own property. Furthermore, security problem and many other problem may be the reason for this. Every things have possitive and negative asspect . If people want to spent of their lives for an other city or country it might can be suffer for some difficulties. But on the otherhand when he struggled and achiecve their goails , he become a successfull men for their hard worked.Then this place is lucky for him .

In conclution public like to spend most of their lives where they birth and grown up , with their family and friends.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both questions by giving reasons such as family ties, feeling safe, business, and the cost and difficulty of moving. You also attempt to discuss advantages and disadvantages, including comfort near family and the challenges of settling elsewhere. However, the response only partially fulfils the task: the advantages and disadvantages are not clearly separated or explained, and some points are difficult to interpret, such as “This place is lucky for him.” The opening mainly repeats the idea that people like their birthplace rather than establishing a clear position. Develop each main point with a specific explanation or example, and make the comparison of benefits and drawbacks explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic overall structure, with an introduction, a main discussion, and a conclusion, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “In conclusion” help show the direction of the response. However, progression within the main paragraph is difficult to follow: reasons, advantages, and disadvantages are mixed together, and several ideas are joined without clear relationships. For example, the shift from moving costs to security problems and then to achieving goals is abrupt. Some linking phrases are also repetitive or awkward, including “So this the main reason.” Organise the response into clearer paragraphs by purpose, and use linking expressions that show whether an idea is an example, result, contrast, or new point.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “joint family system,” “family and friends,” “property,” and “security problem.” These choices show an attempt to discuss practical and personal reasons for staying near one’s birthplace. However, the range is limited and many spelling, word-form, and collocation errors make parts of the response difficult to understand, such as “sequre,” “hasiting,” “combine bussiness,” and “achiecve their goails.” Some phrases are also unnatural, for example “open their eyes in the world” and “move on new society.” Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common word partnerships, and choose more precise expressions for the benefits and challenges you describe.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including a conditional idea in “It is possible if you have job and own property” and a contrast introduced by “But on the other hand.” However, control of sentence structure is inconsistent, and errors are frequent enough to make some meanings unclear. Examples include “when he or she were open their eyes,” “They really thinks,” and “he become a successfull men.” Articles, agreement, verb forms, and sentence boundaries also need attention. Practise building accurate basic sentences first, then combine them using subordinate clauses and contrast structures. Check that each sentence has a clear subject and correctly formed verb before adding more complex ideas.

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