Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born.

What might be the reasons for this?

What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In some cases whereby people lives where they were born isn't there fault,however,but life happens to them because some of these people do not have the right connection for them to explore more or be in higher places and by then they end up living where they were born and some of them would see a great opportunity for them to move in to a city. One of the advantage of living where you were born is by spending quality time with your parent and your loved ones living around you and the disadvantage of living where you were born is that you will not be exposed to some great and life changing opportunities happening in the city,as for me i moved out of my parents house when i finished my NYSC program and i decided to stay on my own and work harder for my own money and be the man my parents wanted me to be

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address the reasons people may stay near their birthplace, mentioning limited connections, and give one advantage and one disadvantage. Your personal example about moving after your NYSC programme also relates to the topic. However, the response only partially answers the task: the reasons are briefly stated, and the advantages and disadvantages are not explained with supporting detail or a developed example. The response is also below the required 250 words, which limits how fully you can develop each part. To strengthen it, explain how family responsibilities, finances, or local employment might keep people in one place, then expand both sides with specific consequences and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic sequence: you introduce why people may stay, then mention an advantage, a disadvantage, and your own experience. This gives the reader a general sense of the response’s direction. However, nearly all the ideas are packed into one long sentence, so the relationships between them are difficult to follow. The opening also uses several linking expressions together—“however, but”—without a clear contrast, and the shift to your personal example is abrupt. Organise the response into separate paragraphs for reasons, advantages, and disadvantages, and use clear topic sentences. Shorter sentences and purposeful links such as “One reason is…” and “By contrast…” would make the progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary, including “connection,” “opportunity,” “exposed,” and “quality time,” which helps communicate the main ideas. The range is nevertheless limited, and several phrases are imprecise or repetitive, such as “great opportunity” and “great and life changing opportunities.” Some word choices also sound unnatural, including “move in to a city” and “higher places.” Aim for more precise language about employment, social networks, and access to services, and avoid repeating broad words such as “great.” More accurate collocations would make your meaning clearer and give you greater flexibility when discussing the topic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect several ideas in a complex sentence and use a range of basic forms, including “One of the advantage… is” and “when I finished my NYSC program.” However, the long opening sentence is difficult to control, and errors in agreement and sentence construction are noticeable. For example, “people lives” should be “people live,” while “One of the advantage” needs the plural “advantages.” The response also has a run-on structure, with clauses joined by commas rather than separated into complete sentences. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled subordinate clauses. Check subject–verb agreement, articles, and punctuation during revision.

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