Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Average monthly change in prices of copper, nickel and zinc (2014)
Student answer (Band 4.5)
the line graph illustrates the average monthly change prices of copper,Nickel,and zinc during 2014
overall,The prices changed of three metal we started in January, the highest percentage we had nickel with 6%, for the second copper made up 2% , while the lowest percentage zinc by 1%
in detail of the highest percentage in January nickel between January and march the percentage fell rapidly from 6% to 1% and remained stable between march and April after that dropped to the lowest percentage -3% in jaune, and in July increased slightly to -1% after that remained stable between jaune to September , between September and December increased gradually, whereas
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response identifies the graph’s subject and reports a relevant opening comparison: nickel is highest in January at about 6%, followed by copper at 2% and zinc at 1%. It also accurately describes nickel’s sharp fall to around -3% in June and its subsequent recovery. However, the overview is unclear and does not summarise the main pattern across all three metals; most of the response focuses on nickel, while copper and zinc are not described beyond January. The final sentence is unfinished, leaving the later trends and comparisons incomplete. The response is also 42 words below the required minimum, which contributes to the limited coverage. Include a clear overview and report key movements for each metal.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
There is a basic attempt to organise the response, moving from an introduction to an overview and then a detailed account of nickel. Time markers such as “between January and March,” “after that,” and “in July” help show sequence. However, the progression is incomplete: the detail paragraph ends with “whereas” and no completed comparison, and the response does not develop a clear structure covering all three metals. Several ideas are joined into one long sentence, making relationships difficult to follow. Capitalisation and punctuation also make the divisions between points unclear. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and key details, and connect comparisons explicitly rather than relying repeatedly on “after that.”
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The response uses some relevant graph vocabulary, including “percentage,” “fell rapidly,” “remained stable,” and “increased gradually,” so the reader can recognise the intended trends. However, the range is limited and some word combinations are unnatural or imprecise, such as “the average monthly change prices” and “the highest percentage we had nickel.” “Prices changed of three metal” is also difficult to interpret. The repeated use of “percentage” and “after that” limits variety, while “jaune” appears to be an inaccurate spelling of “June.” Aim for precise trend language and standard collocations, for example, “the monthly percentage change in prices” and “nickel recorded the largest increase.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response attempts a few longer structures, including “between January and March the percentage fell rapidly … and remained stable,” but control is limited. Errors in sentence formation and word order occur in “the prices changed of three metal we started in January” and “the highest percentage we had nickel,” making the intended meaning harder to follow. Articles and plurals are also inconsistent, as in “three metal,” and the opening sentence lacks clear punctuation and capitalisation. The final clause beginning “whereas” is incomplete, so the sentence structure is not fully controlled. Use shorter, complete sentences first, then add accurate comparisons with clauses such as “while” or “whereas.” Check articles, plural forms, and sentence boundaries during revision.
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