Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Average monthly change in prices of copper, nickel and zinc (2014)
Student answer (Band 4.5)
This graph give us the information about the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.
Average monthly change in prices of copper, nickel and zinc are changing significantly.
Its prices changes according to the different months and in some months its value remain stagnant.
Price of Nickel:
The value of nickel is in peak in January its value is in 6.In Faburary nickel value decrease and go to the 4 percent value gradually decrease in Faburary. In march Nickel value is 1 percent.In April its value remain stagnant.In May its value decreases more to 0.8 percent.In Fanuary its value goes in minus its value is -2 percent.In Fully, August, September its value remain stagnant and value is -1.In October value of Nickel decreases to -2 and in November its value increase to 1 percent and in december its value remain same 1 percent.
Price of Copper:
The value of Copper is in peak in January its value is in 2.In Faburary nickel value decrease and go to the 1 percent value gradually decrease in Faburary. In march Nickel value is 0.4 percent.In April its value remain stagnant.In May its value decreases more to 0.8 percent.In Fanuary its value is same .In jully, August, September its value remain stagnant and value is -1.In October value of Nickel decreases to -2 and in November its value increase to 1 percent and in december its value remain same 1 percent.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to provide a clear overview of the main trends, which is a requirement for Task 1. Instead, it lists data points in a repetitive, mechanical fashion. Furthermore, the content is inaccurate; the description for 'Copper' is almost identical to the description for 'Nickel', suggesting a copy-paste error or a failure to interpret the graph correctly. The response does not make meaningful comparisons between the three metals, focusing instead on a month-by-month list that lacks synthesis. To improve, you must identify the overall trends (e.g., which metal fluctuated the most) and group data logically rather than listing every month individually.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The essay is organized into very short, fragmented paragraphs that lack logical flow. The use of cohesive devices is extremely limited and repetitive, with almost every sentence beginning with 'In [Month]'. There is no clear progression of ideas; the text reads like a list of data points rather than a cohesive report. The lack of transition words or complex sentence structures makes the text feel disjointed. To improve, use linking words such as 'conversely', 'in contrast', or 'meanwhile' to connect your observations and group related data points together into coherent paragraphs.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is very basic and repetitive. You rely heavily on simple phrases like 'value is' and 'remain stagnant'. There is no attempt to use a range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'dipped', or 'remained stable'. Additionally, there are several spelling errors, such as 'Faburary' (February), 'Fanuary' (January), and 'Jully' (July). The lack of variety in your word choice limits your ability to convey the information precisely. You should focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary related to data trends and ensure you proofread for basic spelling mistakes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The grammar is characterized by frequent errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'This graph give us', 'Its prices changes') and article usage. Sentence structures are almost exclusively simple, with little to no attempt at complex sentences. The punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and sentence construction. You should also practice using complex structures, such as relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions, to move beyond simple, repetitive sentence patterns.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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