Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Average monthly change in prices of copper, nickel and zinc (2014)
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In the given graph it showed up the monthly change in the prices of the three metal through out the whole year of 2014. In which it contained copper, zinc and nickel materials.
In the given graph there was a highly downfall of prices of nickel during 2014 and after that it showed that there was momentarily increasing and decreasing of prices of copper and at the end it revealed that there mutually was upward and downward trend of the graph of zinc and all these trending of graph were of the 2014 year.
And by comparing each three of material we see that there was far less demand of nickel product due to which it was highly down trended. But in the other two cases it showed up that there was momentarily increasing and decreasing of demand of supplies of these two copper and zinc material.
Because every upgrade and downgrade of graph showed the point of demand in the market.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to adequately summarize the main features of the graph. While it identifies the three metals, it lacks a clear overview and fails to provide specific data points or meaningful comparisons. The description of trends is vague, using phrases like 'highly downfall' and 'momentarily increasing and decreasing' without referencing the actual months or the scale of change. The interpretation of the data as 'demand' is an assumption not supported by the prompt, which only mentions price changes. To improve, you must select key data points (e.g., peak months or significant fluctuations) and describe them with precision rather than using generalized, repetitive language.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into short, disjointed paragraphs. While there is a basic attempt at structure, the progression of ideas is weak. Cohesive devices are either missing or used incorrectly, such as the repetitive use of 'In the given graph' and 'And by comparing'. The sentences often lack logical flow, making the text feel like a collection of isolated observations rather than a cohesive report. The final sentence is particularly disconnected from the rest of the analysis. Improving the use of linking words (e.g., 'whereas', 'in contrast', 'subsequently') would help create a more professional and readable flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate. Phrases like 'highly downfall' and 'mutually was upward and downward trend' are non-standard and impede clarity. The word 'material' is used repeatedly where more specific terms or synonyms are needed. There is a lack of precision in describing trends; instead of using academic vocabulary like 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'remained stable', the response relies on basic, repetitive descriptors. To reach a higher band, you should focus on learning collocations related to data description, such as 'a significant decline', 'a period of volatility', or 'a steady increase'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often obscure the intended meaning. Examples include 'it showed up the monthly change', 'there was a highly downfall', and 'all these trending of graph were of the 2014 year'. Sentence structures are simplistic and repetitive, with many errors in word order, article usage, and verb tense consistency. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the existing sentences are often poorly constructed. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of prepositions when describing trends in graphs.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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