Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Average monthly change in prices of copper, nickel and zinc (2014)
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In the given graph shows monthly changes of price difference for some metals (copper, nickel and zinc) during the year 2014. It gives information of price changes in percentage of -4 to 7 by comparing with the previous month.
During the whole year prices was vary according to the previous month situation, changing in price was compared with the percentage of previous month and the graph was showed from January to December and staring the price percentage from zero in month of January and take places different percentage. Nickel was the main metal in staring of year because it was started from a percentage of 6 but it downfall come in different times in year while for copper and zinc it starts from a price percentage of 1 and 2 and seems like no much difference in a price for complete year.
In a comparison of a year 2014 zinc and copper percentage of price did not make much difference while the nickel make much difference in price.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response attempts to address the task by discussing the percentage changes in metal prices over 2014, but the coverage is partial and lacks clarity. While you mention copper, nickel, and zinc, the reporting of specific data features is vague and confused. For example, stating that nickel started at a percentage of six when it actually began at six percent is mixed up with general descriptions of trends. The overview is weak, attempting to compare the metals overall but failing to clearly outline the main trends or significant fluctuations. To improve, you need to select key data points accurately from the graph, such as peak months and overall trajectories, and present a clearer summary overview without confusing price levels with percentage changes.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The response shows some basic organisation by attempting an introduction and body sections, but there is no clear overall progression. Ideas are bundled together rather than logically sequenced, and paragraphing is underdeveloped, with the entire body squeezed into a single long and confusing paragraph. Furthermore, cohesive devices are very basic and sometimes inaccurate, leading to mechanical connections between sentences. For instance, transitional phrases are lacking or misused, such as 'In a comparison of a year 2014 zinc and copper percentage of price...'. To achieve a higher band, you must organise your report into logical paragraphs—such as an introduction, an overview, and separate body paragraphs for specific comparisons—and use a wider range of cohesive devices smoothly to guide the reader through the data.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and basic, which restricts your ability to describe statistical trends precisely. Throughout the text, there are noticeable lexical errors and awkward word choices, such as 'price difference' instead of 'price change', 'downfall come', and 'take places different percentage'. These errors occasionally cause strain for the reader. To improve your lexical score, you need to incorporate a more varied and precise range of task-specific vocabulary, such as verbs and adverbs to describe trends (e.g., fluctuate, peak, plummet, gradual increase), and ensure correct word forms and collocations when discussing numerical data in graphs.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences that are often poorly constructed. There are frequent grammatical and punctuation errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('prices was vary', 'graph was showed'), missing prepositions, and incorrect verb tenses or forms ('staring the price percentage', 'the nickel make much difference'). Many sentences are strained and difficult to parse, which can hinder communication. To reach a higher level, you need to work on forming accurate complex sentences, mastering basic verb tense consistency, and eliminating frequent errors in grammar and word patterns.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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