Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, job interviews have become flexible to the extent that some personal questions such as hobbies and interests may be asked during the interview. Some people argue that this information is relevant and useful, I strongly agree that employers should try to know as much information as they can about their employees.

Firstly, it helps employers to position their employees at the right place. For instance, if my employer knows that I am single, he might pair me up with other single people at work. This can to connect single people together. A good number of people actually found their soul-mates at work. This applies to companies which allow employees to engage in personal relationship, in this case, dating. Pairing people with the same interests also promotes friendships in the workplace which makes the environment more comfortable and enjoyable for the employees. For example, putting football fanatics in the same work groups may create team-bonding. This creates good team work and employees may produce better results.

Personal questions also allow employers to know their employees at a much deeper level. For example, knowing an employee's interests and hobbies can help with gifting at birthdays. Nowadays, some companies have a culture of celebrating each other's birthdays. My former employer once gifted me two basketball game tickets because he knew how much I enjoyed the sport. I went on to watch the game with a close friend after work and it was very memorable.

However, not everyone wants to share personal information about themselves including marriage status. Some people prefer keeping to themselves and maintain a clear line between work and personal life.

In conclusion, employers should make it optional for people applying for jobs to answer personal questions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear opinion in the opening and conclusion: employers should ask personal questions only optionally. You also present reasons in favour, including matching colleagues by interests and using hobby information for birthday gifts, and acknowledge that some people want a boundary between work and private life. However, the opposing view is only briefly stated and not explained with a concrete reason or example, so the discussion is uneven. The suggestion that single employees might be paired together to find partners is also a narrow and potentially questionable justification for collecting marital status, and the link to workplace effectiveness needs clearer support. Develop both sides more evenly and explain why personal details may be useful for job-related decisions—or why they may be irrelevant or intrusive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two paragraphs supporting the usefulness of personal information, a paragraph presenting the opposing view, and a conclusion. Sequencing within the supporting paragraphs is generally clear, and examples help the reader follow your points. However, the discussion moves from marital status to workplace dating and then to team bonding without fully explaining the connections, which weakens progression. The opposing view is compressed into one sentence, so the essay’s two sides are not balanced. Some links are also awkward or unclear, such as “This can to connect single people together.” Use clearer transitions to signal the shift between views, and make each paragraph develop one central point with an explicit link to your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “personal information,” “marriage status,” “team-bonding,” and “clear line between work and personal life.” The examples about hobbies and birthday gifts also show that you can express specific ideas rather than relying only on general statements. There are some imprecise or unnatural choices, however: “position their employees at the right place” is vague, and “team work” is less natural in this context than “teamwork.” “Soul-mates” and “football fanatics” are expressive but informal for an academic discussion. To strengthen your control, choose more precise, appropriately formal phrases and avoid repeating broad terms such as “personal questions” when a more exact expression is available.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex forms, including conditional structures (“if my employer knows… he might pair me up”) and a concession introduced by “However.” Most sentences communicate their meaning, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “This can to connect single people together” has an incorrect verb pattern; write “This can connect single people” or “This can help connect single people.” In “Some people prefer keeping to themselves and maintain a clear line,” the parallel forms should be “prefer keeping … and maintaining” or “prefer to keep … and maintain.” The opening also joins two independent clauses with a comma. Review verb patterns, parallel structures, and sentence boundaries while continuing to use varied sentence forms.

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