Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate about employers ask job seekers for their personal information, like their hobbies and interests,and their maritial status.While other argue that this is an important and useful details. In my opinion, I believe asking for someone about his/her personal detail does not make any sense because instead of that employer needs to focus on his qualifications and skills.

On the one hand, those who believe employees personal information matter for employer. they have several reasons for this statement. First reason is, every person has their own right of privacy. For example, if someone do not want to share about his personal life due to his life status because he think if he reveal it people do not respect him as they do before. So, employe think about his safety, dignity and honour, because of such reasons they do not want to share their personal details with employer.

On the other hand, many think that such information is very crucial and important about employees. They also have their supportive facts. One major fact is sometime those detail helps in emergency. For instance, if something happend to worker at that time his detail provide exact his situation if he get seek on work place than his pesonal medical record help to help understand what happened to him.

In the end, many people debate that job provider do not have to ask for personal details to their fellows and others argue that it's very important and very helpful sometime. In my opinion, qualification, skills and character background check are enough for them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion: employers should focus on qualifications and skills rather than personal details. However, the discussion of the two views is only partially successful. The paragraph beginning “On the one hand” argues mainly that applicants have a right to privacy, which explains why they may resist sharing information, rather than why employers might find it relevant or useful. The emergency example on the other side is relevant, but it focuses on medical records and does not explain how hobbies or marital status help employers make hiring decisions. Develop each view directly, with specific reasons and examples, and make your position consistent throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, separate body paragraphs for the two sides, and a conclusion, so the reader can identify its broad structure. “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In the end” also signal stages of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is limited: ideas are repeated rather than built into a clear explanation, and the first body paragraph’s privacy argument does not connect clearly to the view it is meant to represent. Some references, such as “such information” and “those detail,” are unclear, while transitions like “First reason is” feel mechanical. Organise each paragraph around one relevant claim, explain it, and link the example explicitly to that claim.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “personal information,” “privacy,” “qualifications,” “skills,” and “emergency.” This gives the response a basic range for discussing the issue. However, the wording is often repetitive or imprecise, and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts difficult to understand: “maritial status,” “employe,” “happend,” “seek,” and “pesonal.” Phrases such as “supportive facts” and “provide exact his situation” are not natural in this context. Aim for accurate collocations and vary repeated terms such as “important” and “personal details.” Proofreading spelling and choosing precise expressions will make your ideas clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including a reason-and-example structure with “For example” and a conditional clause beginning “if.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in sentence formation, agreement, verb forms, and punctuation. For example, “there is an ongoing debate about employers ask” needs a grammatical construction such as “about whether employers should ask”; “if someone do not want” has incorrect subject–verb agreement; and “if he get seek on work place” is difficult to follow because the clause is not formed accurately. Several sentences also run together without appropriate punctuation. Practise building clear subject–verb sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check agreement and sentence boundaries.

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