Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is very common in many countries that employers ask candidates to disclose their personal information about their hobbies, interests and marital status. Some people believe this information to be useful and important for the employers, While others oppose it. As per my view point, limits should be considered while requesting such information.

To begin with, there are several reasons why companies require personal information from the applicants. Firstly, sometimes such details are necessary because of the job type. For example, a job which requires a person to work longer hours and fluctuating schedule would be more suitable for an unmarried person. Therefore, it depends on the nature of the job wheather the personal details are required or not. Secondly, personal information help employers to know the applicant. The information about interests and hobbies provide an idea about the personal traits of the candidate which act as a judgemental tool while selection.

On the opposite side, people who disagree with this trend have their own reasons. The first main reason they give is that questions regarding religion, age and marital status lead to biasness. Therefore, there might be possibilities that a deserved candidate face rejection because of the unfair treatment. Secondly, employer should focus more on qualifucation, skills and knowledge instead of unnecassary personal information.

As per my opinion, employers should be careful while preparing questionnare and only ask personal details which are required and useful for the job. Unfair treatment based on religion, age, marital status and other such information should be avoided by the companies.

To be concluded, It can be concluded that although, sometime personal details are relevant for the job position and help employer to judge the candidate, it should not asked with a purpose to be partial while choosing the best candidate. Instead focus should be made on education, work experience, skills and knowledge which are more necessary to hire a deserved employee.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both views and give a clear personal position: employers may request details when they are relevant to the role, but should avoid unfair treatment. The examples about long or changing hours and hobbies revealing personal traits are relevant, and your conclusion reinforces your view. This meets the task well, while showing some of the fuller development expected at the next level. However, the argument that an unmarried person is more suitable for demanding hours is asserted rather than supported, and the link between hobbies and a candidate’s traits could be explained more carefully. The opposing view is also less developed: you mention bias and qualifications, but could illustrate how personal questions might unfairly affect a hiring decision.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall progression: an introduction, a paragraph for each view, your opinion, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “To begin with,” “On the opposite side,” and “As per my opinion” makes the stages easy to follow, and the main ideas are generally grouped appropriately. This is a strong, logical arrangement. To make the progression more natural and flexible, reduce formulaic transitions and connect some points through their meaning rather than relying on labels. For example, the sentence beginning “Therefore, it depends on the nature of the job” could lead directly into a more specific explanation of when personal details are relevant. The conclusion also repeats the introduction’s position rather than adding a concise synthesis of the two arguments.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to discuss recruitment and fairness, including “marital status,” “applicants,” “qualifications,” and “unfair treatment.” There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “nature of the job” and “personal traits.” However, inaccurate word forms, spelling, and collocations are noticeable and limit precision: “biasness,” “judgemental tool,” and “deserved candidate” do not express the intended ideas naturally, while “wheather,” “qualifucation,” and “unnecassary” are misspelled. Some wording is also repetitive, particularly “personal information/details.” Build a more reliable range of hiring-related expressions and check spelling and collocation; for instance, “assess a candidate’s suitability” is more precise than describing hobbies as a “judgemental tool.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex forms, including subordinate clauses with “because” and “although,” and most sentences communicate the intended meaning. Some grammatical errors remain, but they rarely prevent understanding. For example, “personal information help employers” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “a deserved candidate face rejection” has agreement problems. In “it should not asked,” the passive construction is incomplete; use “it should not be asked.” There are also punctuation and capitalization slips, such as the capitalized “While” after a comma and “It” after the introductory phrase in the conclusion. Review agreement, passive forms, and sentence punctuation, then proofread to make these structures more consistently accurate.

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