Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, asking for personal information while applying for a job is controversial between supporters and opponents. In my opinion, filling out diverse personal questions is an asset for multiple reasons.

On one hand, Some may argue that technical and organizational skills are matters. In other words, job requires hard workers and dedicated employees. According to a recent study, the human resources department has found that workers with previous experiences have an essential impact on increasing company’s profit.

On the other hand, supporters explain their ideas that asking about the hobbies and interests are the key to explore the personality. To explain more, candidates who are keen on different activities have a chance to collaborate with others colleagues . A recent study has shown that playing soccer or basketball have increased the sense of communication and collaboration between the team at work.

I believe that these questions are crucial but in some majors that require compelling skills.

In conclusion, the debate regarding whether the personal information is important or not has not resolved yet. Some may argue that is useful for collaboration, others may refuse it due to technical skills. I am confident that balance between both arguments is more practical.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion. However, the essay is significantly under the 250-word minimum, which limits the depth of development. The ideas regarding why personal information might be useful (team collaboration) and why it might be irrelevant (focus on technical skills) are introduced but not fully extended or supported with sufficient detail. The conclusion is brief and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented. To improve, you should expand on your examples and ensure each body paragraph provides a more thorough explanation of the points raised.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' to signal the structure. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'supporters explain their ideas that asking about the hobbies and interests are the key'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would help elevate the score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'human resources department', 'collaborate', and 'technical skills'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'filling out diverse personal questions is an asset' and 'the debate... has not resolved yet' (should be 'has not been resolved'). To achieve a higher band, try to incorporate more precise vocabulary and ensure that collocations are natural and accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('asking about the hobbies and interests are the key') and missing articles ('job requires hard workers'). Additionally, there are minor punctuation and phrasing errors throughout the text. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and try to vary your sentence structures further by using more complex subordinate clauses correctly.

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