Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Nowadays, the way the entrepreneurs hire their candidates has changed in many different ways. It is very easy to pursue personal information through social media or connected contacts. However, interviewers generally ask all important personal questions in the first meeting or phone call. There are considerable pros and cons associated with the method which I would like to discuss in following paragraphs.

To begin with, why hiring manager ask personal questions which are may be unnecessary? The first reason behind is that, it is their responsibility to select the candidate who can survive the work life and who can provide their commitment to the work. Otherwise their work load increases if they fail to do so because as a result they require to follow the same process several time. Another major reason is that the questions are to verify the persons daily routine because some candidates have habits that can be danger for the workplace. To illustrate, if the hiring is for factory work associate or for a forklift driver, an HR is responsible to verify that the person is not consuming any drugs or is not an alcoholic person, because that can cause any causality at job.

On the other hand, certain group of people disagree with the process by stating that this is unnecessary information for recruiters. They believe this due to the way they think or the society. People often support to go by books and do not speak or share anything unnecessary and thus they say that interviewer should only ask or post the questions which are related to their job profile such as availability, qualifications, skills, weakness and experiences.

According to me, I believe that it is a vital task for any hiring manager to provide the best person to the company for the position. Furthermore, the companies often bonded with a contract in order to secure any personal information of their employees. I believe that we should not pose any questions against them unless they ask any questions that is considered as harassment.

In essence, It is recruital rights to ask the questions like health or any addictions related in order to secure their work place. It is extremely common way of hiring process. Thus, we should support instead of arguing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both sides of the issue and providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the need for safety in manual labor roles versus the privacy concerns of candidates. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The argument regarding 'daily routine' and 'addictions' is specific, but the counter-argument regarding privacy is less developed and relies on vague phrasing like 'go by books'. To reach a higher band, you should provide more nuanced examples of why some people feel personal questions are intrusive, such as the potential for unconscious bias or discrimination in the hiring process.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. There is a progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices effectively, such as 'To begin with,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In essence.' However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'The first reason behind is that, it is their responsibility.' Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, and the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect ideas more fluidly rather than relying on standard transition markers.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'hiring manager,' 'job profile,' and 'harassment.' However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations, such as 'pursue personal information' (instead of 'obtain' or 'access'), 'causality at job' (instead of 'accidents' or 'workplace hazards'), and 'recruital rights' (which is not standard English). To improve, focus on learning more natural collocations and avoiding the literal translation of phrases from your native language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'why hiring manager ask' (should be 'do hiring managers ask'), 'questions which are may be unnecessary' (should be 'which may be'), and 'the companies often bonded with a contract' (should be 'are often bound by a contract'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some errors in comma usage and subject-verb agreement. Increasing your control over complex sentence forms and proofreading for basic agreement errors would significantly improve your score.

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