Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

The question of asking personal information from the job applicants was always debatable that now has become more controversial with some people saying that an employer has rights to asking personal questions to an applicant while others reject this notion. The potential influence of this trend has sparked controversy for the past few years. This essay will further elaborate my point of view thus leading to a meaningful conclusion.

The first and the foremost point is that asking questions about hobbies helps an employer to screen the candidate better. For example, a candidate who plays a team support on regular basis, can be a good team players. This can help a lot in choosing someone for a manager role. Another striking benefit of this is that it can help to screen candidates compassion. If an interviewee has worked on helping others in a community centre can work in an organization with compassion and trust.

On the other hand, I think, the personal information should not influence the decision of an interview. The primary focus of the recruiter should be to judge the candidate with education, knowledge, skills, and the work experience. Asking questions about marriage or personal information, and judging based on that gives a sense of descrticmition. For example, a recruiter might unfairly think that offering a job that needs traveling might not be good for someone with kids, while there is no such evidence to support the believe.

In my option, the primary focus of the recruiter should be to hire a candidate based on the education, skills, and experience of the applicant. While questions like hobbies can help to screen the candidate better but questions about marital status, should not be discuss in the part of the hiring process.

In conclusion, while asking personal questions can assist with the broader aspect for hiring but the primary goal should be to judge a candidate with skills and experience first, ensuing a fair and objective hiring process.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the use of hobbies to assess teamwork and the potential for discrimination regarding marital status. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the point about 'compassion' is a bit vague and could have been better linked to specific workplace requirements. The position is consistent throughout the essay, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting example is fully explained to demonstrate its direct relevance to the hiring process.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central topic, and the progression of ideas is generally easy to follow. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'The first and the foremost point', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing and flow, such as the slightly awkward phrasing in the introduction. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different viewpoints, which helps the reader navigate the argument effectively.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'recruiter', 'interviewee', and 'objective hiring process'. However, there are some noticeable errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'descrticmition' (discrimination) and 'believe' (belief). Additionally, some phrases are slightly unnatural, such as 'a team support' instead of 'a team sport'. While the range is sufficient to convey the intended meaning, more precise and varied vocabulary would be needed to reach a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'asking questions from the job applicants' (should be 'of'), 'an employer has rights to asking' (should be 'to ask'), and 'should not be discuss' (should be 'discussed'). Subject-verb agreement and preposition usage are inconsistent. While the errors do not prevent communication, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. Increasing the accuracy of complex sentence structures will be key to improving this score.

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