Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

In this unprecedented era, an employment has become a subject of intense debate. A few people contend that providing personal information at workplace is an essential part of recruitment process; however, others argue that it is totally wastage of time. This essay will discuss the both views along with my personal viewpoint with reasoned examples.

On the one hand, discussing the positive aspects of giving personal details to employers, the first and foremost reason is appropriate allocation of each tasks to certain workers. This is because if employers are aware regarding strengths, hobbies and interest, it would help them to assign tasks to right people. Eventually, it will boost the productivity of work and reduce conflicts between the team members. Moreover, having personal data often help to tackle the emergency situations at workplace. To exemplify, one study conducted by 'The Ministry of Ahmedabad' has reported that due to extreme fire exploitation at Indira Gandhi Hospital, all the health care staff had been transported to homes by contacting their family members.

On the other hand, out of all the arguments of irrelevant and useless information is being asked by recruiters, the strongest one to prove my view is violation of privacy. Some individuals often believe that there should be the professional boundaries and it is enough to provide the data of academic achievements, the history of extensive experience and certain qualification rather than providing personal information. Additionally, it could possess the risk of leakage of private information and a few folks feel it as an interference.

In essence, Although exposing private data could cause detrimental effects such as privacy violence, interference in personal life, according to my perspective it gives better opportunities for personal and professional growth, enhances the productivity of work, reduces misunderstandings and misbehaviors in the team.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as task allocation and privacy concerns. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat uneven. The example regarding the 'Ministry of Ahmedabad' is a bit specific and slightly confusing in its relevance to the topic of hobbies and marital status. To reach a higher band, ensure that examples are more universally applicable or clearly linked to the core argument. The position is consistent throughout the essay, which is a strength.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand', 'Moreover', and 'In essence', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or forced. For instance, the opening sentence 'In this unprecedented era, an employment has become a subject of intense debate' is a bit disconnected from the specific topic of personal information. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and there is a clear progression of ideas throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at more sophisticated language like 'unprecedented', 'detrimental', and 'professional boundaries'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'an employment' (should be 'employment'), 'totally wastage' (should be 'a total waste'), and 'fire exploitation' (which is not a standard collocation). While the meaning is clear, these errors prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Expanding the range of precise vocabulary would improve the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, including article misuse ('an employment', 'the workplace'), pluralization issues ('assign tasks to right people' should be 'the right people'), and minor punctuation slips. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. The attempt at complex sentences is evident, but the control over these structures is inconsistent. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and article usage would be beneficial.

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