Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Employers often tend to seek information about a candidate's interests and their marital status. Some people agree with this because this can be helpful in knowing a person's personality whereas others disagree due to the fact that a person can be discriminated on these bases. This essay will discuss both these perceptions before presenting my own view.

On the one hand, people who thinks that sharing personal information is useful. They think that knowing about their hobbies can provide a strong insight about an individual's character and they may find out if the person would fit in their employment circle. Moreover, marital status shows the flexibility towards work. For instance, a single person would be open to work during late night or acompaning during business trips.

On the other hand, individuals who consider learning about a person's private life is irrelevant. The primary reason is that individuals may not show their interests during working hours, either to main professional working environment or not expressing their emotions enough. In additional, employers can use this information to make biased decisions such as not recruiting people who are married, having a child or something else as in these situations people do not prioritize work.

In my opinion, although personal characteristics give a profound knowledge about a human being's disposition, these factors are not always a 100% accurate while evaluating someone for a job. Furthermore, people must not be asked to reveal their relationship status and their selection must be on the basis of their qualifications and experience.

In conclusion, making decisions or knowing about a person's private life do not give full insight about their potential in their professional life. Therefore, employers should discriminate the candidates on behalf of their answers to these questions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of flexibility for single employees and the risk of bias regarding marital status. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument about hobbies is brief and could be further extended with specific examples of how hobbies might translate into workplace skills. The conclusion contains a significant error in word choice ('discriminate' instead of 'avoid discriminating'), which slightly undermines the final summary of your position. Overall, the response is well-structured and fulfills the requirements of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader through the argument. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or grammatically awkward, such as 'In additional' (should be 'In addition') and the sentence fragment 'people who thinks that sharing personal information is useful'. Despite these minor issues, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'profound knowledge', 'disposition', and 'biased decisions'. There are some instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'discriminate the candidates' in the conclusion, which conveys the opposite of your intended meaning. Additionally, there are minor errors in collocation, such as 'acomaning during business trips' (likely meant 'accompanying on business trips'). To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure that your word choices accurately reflect your intended message, especially in the conclusion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical slips that occur throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement errors ('people who thinks') and prepositional/phrasing issues ('to main professional working environment'). The sentence 'In additional, employers can use this information to make biased decisions such as not recruiting people who are married, having a child or something else' is somewhat clunky. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic agreement and sentence structure would be beneficial.

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