Band 7.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.5)

Some individuals believe that it is beneficial if the company knows about your personal information, like your status and hobbies. In contrast, others say that such information has no connection to their job. This essay will discuss both views, and justification will be given before forming any reasonable conviction.

One of the foremost reasons for asking about your status or family is policies like insurance, which are directly linked to your family. For example, if an employee wants paternal leave, it can only be granted if he is married and has a newborn child. Apart from this, getting information about your interests and hobbies makes it easier for the employer to assign work accordingly, which will benefit the employer as well as the employee. To exemplify, if a company has an employee who is very active on social media, assigning marketing work will make work convenient for both of them.

On the contrary, there are some drawbacks also. A person's professional life and personal life are like two sides of a coin. Providing information about hobbies and interests should not be mandatory when an employer is looking for an employee. To illustrate, if someone is a master in handling the AI field in the company, they could also be a good poet. An individual's hobby does not decide what he is, so it should not be asked by the company.

According to me, sharing personal information is fine as long as it does not affect the employee's work or success.

To recapitulate, the employer must use the personal information of the worker's family or their interests in a beneficial way. Then sharing is fine; otherwise it is worthless.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both sides of the argument and providing a personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of insurance policies and the distinction between professional and personal life. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding hobbies could be expanded with more depth rather than just stating that a poet could be an AI expert. The position is clear, though the conclusion is a bit brief and could have better synthesised the arguments presented in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organised with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two opposing views. Cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Apart from this', 'On the contrary', and 'To recapitulate' are used effectively to guide the reader. However, the flow between some sentences is slightly mechanical, and the transition into the personal opinion paragraph is abrupt. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 7.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There is an attempt to use some less common vocabulary, such as 'conviction', 'paternal leave', and 'recapitulate'. However, there are some minor issues with collocation and word choice, such as 'decide what he is' and 'worthless' in the final sentence, which feels slightly unnatural in this context. The range is sufficient to convey meaning, but more precise and sophisticated vocabulary would be needed to reach a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There is good control over basic grammar, and errors are infrequent and do not impede communication. For example, the use of conditional structures ('if someone is...', 'if an employee wants...') is generally accurate. There are occasional minor slips, such as the phrasing 'According to me' (which is better expressed as 'In my opinion') and some minor punctuation issues. The grammatical control is consistent, and the majority of sentences are error-free.

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