Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-25
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In the world there are various personalities with different views and thoughts. Nowadays, many personal questions being asked by the employers in the job interviews that are irrelevant according to some people and others think it is useful for them. I will discuss both positive and negative views in the upcoming paragraphs and in my opinion I agree with the positive statement.
First of all, personal queries are helpful for both the employers as well as employees during the interviews. It is beneficial for employee to think about themselves and concentrate on their own interests and hobbies. Secondly, it is beneficial for the employers to keep employees engaged during the interview so that they feel comfortable and active. Apart from this, it is helpful for a company to keep records of their employees which is important so that it becomes easier during any police inquiry.
On the other side, some people find it uncomfortable being asked about their personal interest, hobbies and their marital status. They feel scared of been compromised with their personal data or that all are useless questions. some people gets bored of their interviews as been asked with these q
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 194 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you acknowledge both sides of the argument and state your position, the points are under-developed and lack sufficient supporting evidence or examples. The conclusion is also missing, which is a critical omission for a discussion essay. To improve, you must expand on your arguments with specific examples and ensure you provide a clear, well-developed conclusion that summarises your position.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, and there is a basic attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'First of all', 'Secondly', and 'On the other side'. However, the progression of ideas is limited by the brevity of the text. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between sentences feels mechanical. To achieve a higher score, you should use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details that logically connect to the main argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but remains quite basic. You use some relevant terms like 'personal queries', 'police inquiry', and 'marital status', but there is a lack of more sophisticated or precise vocabulary. There are also some errors in word choice and phrasing, such as 'scared of been compromised' and 'useless questions'. To improve, try to incorporate more academic collocations and synonyms to express your ideas with greater precision and variety.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'many personal questions being asked' (missing auxiliary verb), 'beneficial for employee' (missing article), and 'some people gets bored' (subject-verb agreement error). Punctuation is also inconsistent, and the final sentence is incomplete. Focusing on basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and article usage will help improve your accuracy significantly.
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