Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, the country is more towards advancement and allows professional sectors to seek all necessary data before employment. In many companies, they are asking about personal data such as hobbies, likes, dislikes, and marital status. There is always debate about whether taking personal information is relevant and useful or not. Before my opinion, I would like to discuss both views with an explanation in the ensuing paragraphs.

When people take a job, they would be asked to complete the preliminary procedure by providing their personal and professional information. It is essential because the company gets to know about the person's background. Furthermore, they ensure that the person is creative and able to do the tasks given at work or not. For instance, many women migrate to other cities after marriage; therefore, in these cases, marital status will provide an idea about the stability of the person.

On the other hand, some argued that it is not relevant and useful because people will get a job based on their educational background. At the same time, creative and intelligent people would be identified through their work and experience. Hence, personal factors did not play a key role. To some extent, they are necessary, such as if an employee travels from an isolated place and meets with an accident, then that information may be considered useful and essential.

In summary, although most of company requires personal details for identity and background, Creative, intelligent, and professional one create their image based on work and experience. I disagree with the people who state that personal information would be required.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding marital status and stability is a bit superficial, and the counter-argument about personal information being irrelevant could have been expanded with more specific examples beyond just educational background. The conclusion clearly states your position, but the reasoning throughout the essay lacks depth. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph provides a more thorough exploration of the 'why' behind your points, rather than just stating them briefly.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'For instance', and 'On the other hand' to link ideas. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition in the third paragraph from discussing educational background to the emergency contact scenario is quite abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one will help achieve a higher band score for coherence and cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'professional sectors', 'preliminary procedure', and 'educational background'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of slightly unnatural phrasing, such as 'the country is more towards advancement'. To improve, try to incorporate more precise collocations and less common vocabulary. For example, instead of saying 'taking personal information', you could use 'collecting sensitive personal data'. Expanding your range of synonyms will help you express your ideas with more sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. For example, 'most of company requires' should be 'most companies require', and 'some argued' should be 'some argue' to maintain consistent tense. Additionally, there are minor punctuation and article errors, such as 'the country' and 'the tasks'. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage will significantly improve your accuracy.

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