Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

In today's rapidly evolving world, the issue of whether employers should ask job applicants for personal information such as their hobbies, interests, marital status, has sparked considerable debate. Some people think that this information is helpful while choose right candidates. While others believe that these kind of information is not necessary at all. Both side has their own advantages. In this essay, I shall discuss both perspectives with reasons and real world examples.

To begin with, one of the prominent advantages is that knowing a candidate's hobbies and interests can help employer their personality and suitability for particular role. That is to say, activities outside work often reflect valuable qualities such as leadership, creativity, teamwork and discipline. Moreover, employers can think through these information that right employees can be fit in work environments and work culture. Additionally, certain hobbies may directly support professional skills. For instance, a person who regularly participates in team sports is likely to have good communication and cooperate skills, while someone enjoy cooking as a hobby may be more critical thinkers and work oriented.

On the other hand, may people argue that personal information such as marital statues should be requested because it may lead to unfair discrimination. Some employers who may assume that married applicants or those with children will be less flexible or less committed to their work. Such information are not to be shared and unfair to right candidates. For example, highly skilled applicant being rejected simple because an employer believe that he/she is divorce and cannot fulfil his commitment to the company.

In conclusion, although information about hobbies and interests can sometimes provide useful information into an applicant's personality and workplace culture. I firmly believe that right and successful candidate should be choose not just because of marital status or hobbies and interests.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both sides of the argument and providing a personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the link between hobbies and soft skills, and the potential for discrimination regarding marital status. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the explanation of how hobbies reflect personality is a bit repetitive, and the conclusion is slightly abrupt. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on your examples with more depth and ensure your personal opinion is more clearly integrated throughout the essay rather than just appearing in the final sentence.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', 'Additionally', and 'On the other hand' to guide the reader. However, some of the transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is interrupted by grammatical errors, such as in the sentence 'Some people think that this information is helpful while choose right candidates.' Improving the variety of your linking words and ensuring they connect clauses more naturally would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'rapidly evolving', 'suitability', and 'discrimination'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'these kind of information' (should be 'this kind of information') and 'right employees can be fit in work environments' (should be 'fit into'). Additionally, there are minor errors in word forms, such as 'cooperate skills' instead of 'cooperative skills'. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and ensuring that your word choices are grammatically accurate in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, they often contain errors that slightly impede the flow, such as 'Some employers who may assume...' (an unnecessary 'who') and 'Such information are not to be shared' (subject-verb agreement error). There are also issues with missing articles and incorrect verb forms, such as 'someone enjoy cooking' (should be 'someone who enjoys cooking'). While the meaning remains clear, the frequency of these grammatical slips prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage.

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