Band 8.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 8.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 8.5)

Many employers ask job applicants to provide personal information in addition to their qualifications and work experience. While some people believe this information helps employers make better hiring decisions, others argue that it is unnecessary and may lead to discrimination. This essay will discuss both views before explaining why I believe only job-related personal information should be considered.

On the one hand, some personal information can be useful during the recruitment process. A candidate's hobbies and interests may reveal important qualities such as leadership, teamwork, creativity, or discipline. For example, someone who regularly participates in team sports may have strong communication and cooperation skills. Similarly, certain jobs require employees to travel frequently or work flexible hours, so knowing an applicant's availability and lifestyle may help employers determine whether the person is suitable for the role.

On the other hand, many people believe that information such as marital status, age, or family circumstances should not influence hiring decisions. These details are unrelated to a person's ability to perform a job and may result in unfair treatment or discrimination. For instance, an employer might wrongly assume that a married person with children is less committed to work than a single applicant. Recruitment decisions should instead be based on qualifications, experience, and professional skills.

In my opinion, employers should only request information that is directly relevant to the position. While hobbies and interests may provide useful insights into a candidate's personality, private matters such as marital status should remain confidential unless there is a genuine legal or occupational requirement to disclose them. This approach ensures a fair recruitment process while allowing employers to assess applicants effectively.

In conclusion, although some personal information can help employers understand an applicant's strengths, irrelevant private details should not affect employment decisions. Therefore, I believe that hiring should be based primarily on skills, qualifications, and experience rather than personal circumstances.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 8.5

The response fully addresses all parts of the task. You have clearly discussed both sides of the argument—the potential utility of personal information in assessing soft skills versus the risks of discrimination—and provided a clear, consistent personal opinion throughout. The ideas are well-developed and supported with relevant examples, such as the mention of team sports to demonstrate communication skills and the potential for bias regarding marital status. The position is maintained logically from the introduction through to the conclusion, demonstrating a strong grasp of the prompt's requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 8.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central focus, and the transition between the two viewpoints and your own opinion is smooth. You make effective use of cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'Similarly,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In conclusion,' which guide the reader through your argument without being repetitive or mechanical. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the logical flow ensures that the reader can easily follow your line of reasoning from start to finish.

Lexical Resource — Band 8.0

You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary that is appropriate for an academic discussion. Phrases such as 'recruitment process,' 'genuine legal or occupational requirement,' and 'unfair treatment' show a level of precision and sophistication. While the vocabulary is accurate and fits the context well, it remains largely functional. To reach the highest band, you could incorporate more nuanced collocations or idiomatic expressions related to professional environments, but the current range is sufficient to convey your ideas with clarity and precision throughout the essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 8.5

The essay displays a high level of grammatical control. You use a variety of complex structures, such as conditional-like constructions ('if there is a genuine...') and subordinate clauses ('While hobbies and interests may provide...'), with very few errors. The punctuation is accurate, and the sentence structures are varied, which keeps the writing engaging. There are no significant errors that impede communication, and the majority of your sentences are error-free, reflecting a strong command of English grammar suitable for this task.

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