Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Employers nowadays ask candidates to mention their personal information such as their hobbies and interests, an sometimes if they are married or single, while applying for the jobs. This is because, by knowing their interests, employers understand an individual. Whereas, some people believe that sharing such information can be irrelevant. I personally believe, sharing such information is a better idea.

To begin with, most employers judge an individual by reading his resume. A resume includes an information of the candidate such as, his personal information and hobbies. Therefore, before interviewing the candidate, the employers get an idea about the person and his suitability for the job. Moreover, sometimes their requirement is a single or an unmarried candidate due to frequent business tours and by looking at his marital status employer can highlight some suitable candidates. Additionally, by knowing someone's likes or dislikes, the recruiters can conduct the interviews according to the company's requirement.

Whereas, others argue that sharing our personal information with the company has nothing to do with their recruitment. Whereas, it becomes a matter of person's privacy. Sharing such information to the random people can leak an individual's privacy and sometimes can lead to the fraudulent activities. In addition to that, it has seen that, when the candidates exchange their personal information such has family members and phone number, it results in criminal activities such as kidnapping.

In conclusion, despite the fact that sharing personal information can affect an individual's privacy, I personally believe that by sharing complete information with an authentic recruiters help candidates to get highlighted and selected. Also, it increases the chances of getting the job.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of business travel requirements and privacy concerns. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding 'kidnapping' as a result of sharing personal information is a bit extreme and lacks logical depth. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on your points with more nuanced reasoning rather than relying on dramatic examples. Overall, the position is consistent throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', 'Additionally', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or repetitive, such as the use of 'Whereas' at the start of the third paragraph, which is not used correctly in that context. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different viewpoints. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that the relationship between sentences is more fluid.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'suitability', 'recruitment', and 'fraudulent activities'. There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'an information' (information is uncountable) and 'authentic recruiters' (should be 'reputable' or 'legitimate'). Additionally, there are minor spelling and grammatical slips like 'such has' instead of 'such as'. While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precise control over vocabulary and common collocations to reach a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'an sometimes' (should be 'and sometimes'), 'an information', and 'it has seen that' (should be 'it has been seen that'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some unnecessary commas, such as after 'such as' in the second paragraph. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Increasing the variety of complex sentence structures while reducing these minor errors will help improve your score.

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