Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

According to some people, it is essential for employers to inquire people, who applied for job postings, about their personal details, where as others think it is completely irrelevant. This essay will discuss both the views and my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs.

On the one hand, it makes hiring procedure smooth and accurate which can help employers select ideal candidates. In other words, those who are hiring can understand personality traits of job seekers by asking them about their hobbies and interests, making it convenient to hire right workers. To give an example, most of jobs require communication, leadership, and team management qualities. In the interview, it becomes easier for employers to hire suitable employees simply by knowing whether they are introvert or extrovert which can be decided based on their hobbies. Therefore, hiring process becomes more effective since deserving people can get the job. Hence, I also agree with this point of view as giving job to those who are capable is imperative step for the overall success of the organization.

On the other hand, skeptics argue that asking for personal details breach the code of privacy. To be more specific, it would be unnecessary to ask for candidate's marital status during the interview as it has nothing to do with the particular profession. Instead, questions should be based on their academic qualifications and pragmatic knowledge as per job requirements. This can not only simplify the hiring process but also makes it possible not to ask for private matters.

To conclude, although some people are against the given statement because it breaches privacy policy, it can ease the employers duty to hire suitable workers by asking their personal data.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the link between hobbies and personality traits, and the privacy concerns regarding marital status. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument that hobbies determine whether someone is an introvert or extrovert is a bit simplistic and could have been expanded with more nuance. The conclusion is a bit repetitive and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented. Overall, the position is clear throughout, but the depth of analysis could be improved to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two opposing views. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'In other words', and 'To conclude' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there is occasional awkwardness in the flow of ideas, such as the transition between the discussion of personality traits and the final sentence of the second paragraph. Despite these minor issues, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task. The student uses some topic-specific terms like 'personality traits', 'hiring procedure', and 'breach the code of privacy'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'inquire people' (should be 'inquire of people' or 'ask people') and 'making it convenient to hire right workers' (should be 'making it easier to hire the right workers'). While the range is sufficient to convey meaning clearly, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'where as' (whereas), 'most of jobs' (most jobs), and 'it can ease the employers duty' (employer's duty). Additionally, there are missing articles throughout the text, such as 'in the interview' vs 'in an interview'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. The control over complex structures is present but inconsistent, with some awkward phrasing that affects the overall fluency.

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