Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is considered that personal information including hobbies, interests as well as family asked from recruiter by their boss, when it asked by their recruiter. A number of people argue that this is significant and appropriate for the company. However, many have opposite view. I believe that these information play a vital role for both employee and employer.

To commence with those who against this phenomena. First of all, office worker have opine personal information like marriage status hide from office because it not only spoil their mental ability but also effect their career by knowing their staff members. They can judge if they listen about divorce of colleague. Moreover, sometimes if they have knowledge about their interest and family, they use it as take and advantage from them. For instance, company put more pressure on a single person because they think single person have more time for working. Thus, personal questions for interview any post are not recommended by many.

However, I think , It would be significant if company asked to employee for their interest and hobbies. To expand it, acquiring these type of data make the person more interesting and help them to put on particular post according to their hobbies. Because of this, boss spread work according to their taste. Therefore, this will take advantage both company as well as staff if have data, cause more productivity. For example, worker who have more into good in art , company will appoint in advertisement side by side their study related post. So, I think it is good idea to ask these type of questions while interview.

in conclusion, although

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that employers might use personal information to pressure staff, the explanation is a bit repetitive. Similarly, the argument for using hobbies to assign tasks is a good point but lacks depth. The conclusion is incomplete, which impacts the overall task completion. To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph fully explores the implications of your points with more detailed examples and ensure the essay is finished properly.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'To commence with', 'Moreover', and 'However'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'To expand it' or 'To commence with those who against this phenomena'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, and the abrupt ending in the conclusion disrupts the flow of the text. Improving the variety and naturalness of your linking words will help improve the logical progression of your ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'significant', 'appropriate', 'productivity', and 'mental ability'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choices and incorrect collocations, such as 'take and advantage from them' instead of 'take advantage of them' and 'spread work' instead of 'distribute work'. Some phrasing is also repetitive. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and using more precise vocabulary to express your ideas, which will help you move beyond a basic level of communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('worker have opine', 'single person have'), missing articles ('in advertisement side'), and incorrect sentence construction ('It is considered that personal information... asked from recruiter'). While these errors do not completely prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. You should focus on proofreading for basic errors like verb tense consistency and pluralisation to improve your accuracy.

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