Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
When applying for jobs some people, some companies ask candidates about their personal details such as their hobbies and whether they are married. Some people believe this information is helpful for companies while others think it in not necessary.
In my opinion companies should only focus on person's and work experience rather than their personal life. On the other hand supporter says knowing personal details helps companies understand job applicants better, because knowing a person's hobby respresents his/her personality and skills. In addition knowing a person is married or single the companies could plan the work schedule accordingly. As single employes might be more willing to travel or work extra hours as they have fewer family duties.
On the other hand , some people say personal details are not important for jobs. Skills,qualification and experience are necessary prespectives in any workplace. For example, a company might not prefer to hire a married women as she would demand for leave as she is going to plan her family . These are the reasons which stops qualified people from getting jobs for these unfair reasons . this kind of judgement should be stopped in our country.
In conclusion although i would say perasonal details like hobbies and marital status can give a quick picture of a person's life.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion. However, the essay is significantly under the 250-word minimum requirement, which limits the depth of development. While the main points are identified, the arguments—particularly regarding marital status—are somewhat underdeveloped and lack sufficient supporting evidence. The conclusion is also incomplete, as it fails to restate the position clearly or summarize the main points effectively. To improve, you must expand on your ideas with more detailed examples and ensure you meet the word count to allow for a full exploration of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate, such as the repetitive use of 'On the other hand' to start two consecutive paragraphs. The transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, and the lack of a fully developed conclusion affects the overall flow. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in contrast') to connect sentences and paragraphs more naturally and logically.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. There are several instances of word-choice errors or awkward phrasing, such as 'prespectives' instead of 'perspectives' and 'demand for leave'. The range of vocabulary is limited, and there is some repetition of basic terms. To improve, try to incorporate more topic-specific collocations and precise terminology related to employment and human resources. Expanding your vocabulary will help you express your ideas with greater clarity and sophistication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('supporter says', 'employes might be'), missing articles, and punctuation errors (e.g., spacing before commas). These errors are noticeable but do not generally impede communication. To reach a higher band, you should focus on improving your control over basic grammar, particularly pluralization and article usage, and aim to incorporate more complex sentence structures with greater accuracy.
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