Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some people believe that it is important for bosses to have some clue about applicants' personal lives. This essay will discuss both views before presenting my own opinion.

On the one hand, some firms might think it is important to be a good person as much as being enough for educational needs. For example, in many movies, directors need to be married to have a commercial , or this is evidence of being a loyal person. This advice may show the execs that they are suitable for the jobs according to their personal lives. And for the job applicants, this approach gives importance to outside life. As a result, they feel more welcomed and have boundaries. In some workplaces, good communication between colleagues is important, and shared interests may help employees build stronger relationships. As a result, this can sometimes improve teamwork and productivity.

On the other hand, others argue that it is not relevant to have individual data for firms. This may make people feel like they are not enough academically. Having facts like these is not meaningful for administration. For instance, if an individual is enough to get accepted to a company but not getting into just because of their hobbies, it makes them furious and shows an unacceptable excuse.

In conclusion, although some people believe that personal info about position applicants can help authorities understand candidates better, others argue that such details are irrelevant to professional abilities. In my opinion, execs should mainly focus on applicants’ skills and qualifications, while personal knowledge should only be considered when it is clearly related to the business.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all parts of the prompt, discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal opinion in the conclusion. However, the development of your ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the example regarding movie directors being married to be 'loyal' is not particularly convincing or relevant to general employment practices. To reach a higher band, ensure your supporting arguments are more logical and grounded in realistic professional contexts. While your position is clear, the explanation of why personal information might be useful could be more robustly developed to fully satisfy the requirements of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

Your essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'As a result' to guide the reader. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes a bit mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'This advice may show the execs that they are suitable for the jobs.' Improving the variety of your linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer to their antecedents would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You have an adequate range of vocabulary to convey your meaning, but it is somewhat repetitive and occasionally imprecise. Phrases like 'have some clue about' and 'not enough academically' are informal or slightly unnatural in a formal essay context. You attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, such as 'applicants,' 'qualifications,' and 'productivity,' which is good. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and academic vocabulary. Avoid overly simplistic phrasing and try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms to demonstrate a wider range of lexical control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'being enough for educational needs' and 'not getting into just because of their hobbies.' These errors do not significantly impede communication, but they do show a lack of consistent control over complex structures. To improve, work on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions. Increasing the frequency of error-free complex sentences will help you move toward a higher band score.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.