Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Many individuals believe that personal information of the person for the job interview is not a relevant topic. Others share their view point that these information might help the company to know their employees overall strength. This essay will discuss both the notions and elucidate more details in the below paragraphs with the appropriate conclusion.

To commence with, the primary reason why some expects believe sharing the personal interests with the firm where they look for the career opportunities would be great idea since this enable interviewers to make the interview session more interactive and feel comfortable with each other. Consequently, this session will help interviewee to feel relaxed overall session. Moreover, after knowing various employees interest company can organise games, sports and competition to satisfy their employees needs. In result, worker can come out of the anxiety and stress. For example, nowadays various renowned companies host several sports activities for their staff to show case their talent and recognise on bigger platforms. Furthermore, this development also help office staff to build the connections between the different peers groups and also strengthen the team bonding adversely.

On the other hand, other school of thought confess that leaking the personal data might create lot of chaos and sounds irrelevant for company to know during the interviews and sometimes jeopardise ones personal information because these details are very sensitive. For instance, mentioning the marital status during the interviews might create to harassment’s and unexpected situations.

To conclude, although, both aspects have their own view points. I personally believe, sharing the personal information is wisely not an appropriate idea since this can route to leak personal data which can create vulnerable situations to certain employees.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both sides of the issue and providing a clear personal opinion in the conclusion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The argument regarding the benefits of sharing personal information is better supported than the counter-argument, which remains a bit superficial. For instance, the point about marital status leading to harassment is mentioned but not fully explained or linked back to the broader context of professional recruitment. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more nuanced examples and ensure that your personal position is clearly stated in the introduction as well as the conclusion, rather than just at the end.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand' to signal transitions. However, some of these are used in a slightly mechanical way. There are also instances where the flow is interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'In result, worker can come out of the anxiety'. Improving the variety of your linking words and ensuring that referencing (e.g., 'this development', 'these details') is always precise will help improve the overall cohesion of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'career opportunities', 'interactive', and 'jeopardise'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'these information' (should be 'this information'), 'strengthen the team bonding adversely' (where 'adversely' is used incorrectly), and 'route to leak' (should be 'lead to the leakage of'). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, they indicate a need for more careful attention to word forms and collocations to achieve a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, they often contain grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'some expects believe' (should be 'experts'), 'this enable interviewers' (should be 'enables'), and 'create to harassment’s' (should be 'lead to harassment'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are errors in pluralization and subject-verb agreement throughout the text. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical consistency, particularly with verb endings and noun plurals, as these frequent minor errors currently limit your score in this criterion.

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