Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It has been observed that in this contemporary epoch, many employers prefer to ask personal information such as hobbies, interests and marital status in an interview Whereas, other oppose and thinks these private questions should not be asked; due to privacy breach. I concur with the former statement, knowing personal interests about someone can help in finalizing the candidate for a job position.

To begin with, it is essential for an employee to be honest and open about his/her interests as this can assist the employer to know them deeper and will contribute in getting them selected for any particular designation. Additionally, job interviews are held by senior managers, who judge on behalf of various para meters such as confidence level, communication, how optimistic the candidate is therefore, telling more about yourself will eventually help you achieving more jobs. To elucidate, employee should disclose their personal achievements, like few people have a strong leadership skills other have master in communication these small key roles will never be neglected by an employer.

However, many candidate do not like personal questions being asked because it breaches your private life. It has been seen, that many people are suffering from family issues such as divorce, living alone and parents death ergo, these questions affects them when asked, which can affect the overall performance of a candidate. To add on, sharing personal details can hamper in many ways, most of your colleagues can use them as per their convenience which will be very hurtful.

In my opinion, everyone should feel proud about their life and having no hesitation in owning up will eventually make them more stronger. Telling about your marital status, can help the employer to know how strong and independent are you.

To conclude, as every coin has two sides, similarly employees also have an option of either disclosing or keeping private but being open about their achievements and flaws will benefit in future and will improve the cognitive performance of an employee.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing arguments for both sides and a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the potential for personal information to reveal character traits or, conversely, to cause distress. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the argument that marital status helps an employer know how 'strong and independent' a candidate is lacks logical depth and could be considered a generalization. To reach a higher band, you should provide more nuanced examples of how specific personal information might be professionally relevant versus intrusive, rather than relying on broad assertions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'To begin with,' 'Additionally,' and 'However,' to signal transitions. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For example, the use of 'ergo' and 'therefore' is sometimes forced or grammatically disconnected from the preceding clause. The referencing is generally clear, but the progression of ideas within paragraphs could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they connect sentences naturally rather than mechanically would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'contemporary epoch,' 'designation,' and 'cognitive performance.' However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'achieving more jobs' (getting hired) and 'make them more stronger' (a double comparative error). Some phrasing is slightly unnatural, such as 'owning up' in the context of personal life. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, you need to focus on more precise collocations and avoid repetitive or slightly misused academic-sounding words to reach a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('many candidate do not like,' 'these questions affects them') and punctuation. The use of semicolons and commas is often incorrect, such as in the first paragraph where a semicolon is used before 'Whereas.' These errors are noticeable but do not generally impede communication. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentences are punctuated correctly to avoid run-on or fragmented structures.

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