Band 8.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 8.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 8.5)

Employers often request personal information from job applicants, including their hobbies, interests, and marital status, during the recruitment process. While some people believe that such details help employers make better hiring decisions, others argue that they are unnecessary and may lead to unfair treatment. This essay will discuss both viewpoints before explaining why I believe only job-related personal information should be considered.

On the one hand, supporters argue that personal information can help employers assess whether a candidate is suitable for a particular role. For example, hobbies often reveal qualities such as teamwork, creativity, or leadership, which may be valuable in the workplace. Furthermore, knowing an applicant’s personal circumstances can help employers understand their availability and long-term commitment. As a result, companies may be able to recruit individuals who fit both the job requirements and the workplace culture.

On the other hand, many people believe that asking for personal information is irrelevant and may result in discrimination. Factors such as marital status or personal interests have little connection with a person’s ability to perform a job effectively. Employers should instead evaluate candidates based on their qualifications, work experience, and professional skills. If hiring decisions are influenced by personal details, highly capable applicants may be treated unfairly, which could reduce equal employment opportunities.

In my opinion, employers should only request information that is directly related to the job. While hobbies can sometimes provide useful insights into a candidate’s personality, questions about marital status or other private matters should generally be avoided because they are unrelated to job performance. Recruitment should be based primarily on merit, ensuring that every applicant receives a fair and unbiased opportunity.

In conclusion, although some employers believe that personal information helps them choose suitable candidates, others consider it unnecessary and potentially discriminatory. I believe that hiring decisions should focus mainly on professional qualifications, with only relevant personal information being taken into account.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 8.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt effectively. You have clearly discussed both viewpoints—the argument for personal information as a tool for cultural fit and the argument against it due to potential discrimination—and provided a clear personal opinion. The ideas are well-developed and supported with logical reasoning. For example, you explain how hobbies might indicate soft skills like leadership, and you contrast this with the potential for bias regarding marital status. Your position is consistent throughout the essay, and the conclusion effectively synthesizes your main points. The response is balanced and directly answers the prompt's requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 8.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the transition between paragraphs is smooth, using appropriate cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In conclusion.' The use of referencing is accurate, and the structure of the argument is easy to follow. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different viewpoints and your own opinion. The flow of information is natural, and the relationship between ideas is clearly established, meeting the criteria for a high band score.

Lexical Resource — Band 8.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with precision. Phrases such as 'recruitment process,' 'workplace culture,' 'unbiased opportunity,' and 'professional qualifications' are used accurately and appropriately. There is a good level of flexibility in your word choice, which allows you to convey your ideas clearly. While the vocabulary is functional and accurate, it could benefit from a few more sophisticated or less common collocations to reach the highest band, but it is certainly strong and precise enough for a high score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 8.5

The essay displays a good variety of complex sentence structures, such as the use of subordinate clauses ('While some people believe that...', 'If hiring decisions are influenced by...'). The grammar is highly accurate, with very few errors. Punctuation is used correctly throughout, and the sentence construction is varied, which keeps the reader engaged. The control over tense and subject-verb agreement is consistent. The writing is clear and error-free for the vast majority of the text, reflecting a high level of grammatical competence.

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