Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It undeniable that employers are asking all details including personal information such as their interests or hobbies. Some people feel that this information may be useful, however others believe that there is no use of such information. In this essay, I will explain both and give my opinion at the end of essay.

To begin with, The reason why some people think that personal information is relevant while applying jobs is that employer can gain more information about that person. In other words, people's identity and character can be identified by their interest and hobbies. For example, if a person can play good captain of the team, it will reflect its leadership skills. Second reason that sometime company wants person to work overnight or irregular scheduled work which will work if a person is single. Hence, personal information is very useful while selecting candidate according to the company's need.

On the other side, some people believe that personal information is not much important because they believe that to be perfect candidate for the job, only main skills are important. For example, if a company is looking for an IT engineer then if a person is married or single, is not important. Employee will only look for the qualifications. Another reason is risk of discrimination. To explain in more details, an employer may make assumptions about commitments about the person if person is married. Hence, these are the reasons why some people believe that personal life should be kept separate from working life.

To conclude, although personal information is not that much important for the hiring, I still believe that company can identify a person's true identity based on their hobbies and personal interest.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both views and providing a personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of leadership skills and the risk of discrimination. However, the development is somewhat limited; for instance, the argument regarding marital status and working hours is mentioned but not fully explored. The position is clear throughout, although the conclusion is brief and could have better synthesised the arguments presented. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is extended with more detailed explanation or a more specific, concrete example.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organised into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'On the other side', and 'In other words' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as the use of 'its' when referring to a person's skills. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer back to their intended antecedents.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'discrimination' and 'qualifications'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'play good captain' instead of 'demonstrate leadership' and 'no use of such information' instead of 'no relevance'. Spelling is generally accurate, but the range of vocabulary is somewhat restricted, relying on basic descriptors. Increasing the use of topic-specific collocations would help improve the score in this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the reason why', 'the hiring') and subject-verb agreement ('employer can gain', 'if person is married'). Some sentences are slightly awkward, such as 'It undeniable that employers are asking all details'. Punctuation is generally functional, but there are errors in sentence construction that occasionally distract the reader. To improve, focus on mastering article usage and ensuring consistent subject-verb agreement throughout the text.

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