Band 7.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.5)

Personal data such as hobbies and interests and marital status are often asked of interviewees by employers. This information can be relevant and helpful, as thought by some, whereas others disagree. Although sharing personal information can be overwhelming for some individuals who do not want to mix personal and professional life, I align with the former view because it can aid companies in scheduling various shifts at work.

On the one hand, many employees prefer to keep their personal life as private as possible and do not want to mix it with office life. The foremost reason for this is that people think that if they talk about their hobbies or interests, they might have to engage in office curriculum activities organized by the human resource department. For example, many Indian employees spend their breaks alone because other workers talk about their personal lives during that time. However, I believe that sharing personal details, such as hobbies, could be beneficial in some ways.

On the other hand, if a person shares private data like their marital status and hobbies, it can assist businesses in scheduling their work hours. This is because some married couples have children, who they have to pick up after school. As a result, they prefer night shifts over day ones. For instance, numerous single fathers in the US employ night shifts because in the afternoon they pick up their children from daycare. Therefore, I think sharing private information with employers is a positive approach.

To conclude, although some workers do not like to share their private lives' information, I maintain my position of sharing basic data, such as interests and marital status, because it supports employers in organizing work schedules.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5

You have addressed all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. Your position is consistent throughout the essay. The ideas are relevant, particularly the link between marital status and scheduling, which provides a practical justification. However, the development of the opposing view is slightly limited; while you mention the desire for privacy, the argument could be strengthened by discussing how such questions might lead to unconscious bias or discrimination in hiring, which is a common counter-argument. Overall, the response is well-focused and meets the requirements of the task effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central topic, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. You use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' 'As a result,' and 'Therefore' to link your points effectively. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two perspectives. The flow is generally smooth, though the transition between the personal privacy argument and the scheduling argument could be slightly more refined to improve the overall cohesion of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 7.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with some precision. Phrases like 'engage in office curriculum activities' and 'positive approach' are used correctly. However, there are some minor issues with collocation and word choice, such as 'office curriculum activities' (which sounds slightly unnatural; 'team-building activities' would be better) and 'employ night shifts' (where 'work' or 'take' would be more standard). While the vocabulary is adequate for the task, incorporating more sophisticated or idiomatic expressions would help elevate the score to a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, and your grammar is generally accurate. Most sentences are error-free, and your meaning is always clear. There are some minor slips, such as 'private lives' information' (which should be 'information about their private lives') and the slightly awkward phrasing in the introduction. Punctuation is generally handled well. To reach a higher band, you could experiment with a wider variety of complex grammatical structures, such as conditional sentences or more varied subordinate clauses, while maintaining the current level of accuracy.

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