Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

There are many people who believe that employees should give their personal details while applying for job, while others do not agree with this statement. In this essay, I am going to discuss both the views, along with my opinion.

There are some people who think it is a good idea to share personal information while applying for a job because this is a good way to judge the nature of the candidate that what is their thinking and how they are going to deal with any difficult if they face while working.

However, some people think that it is not a good idea to share personal information while applying for a job because some people do not feel comfortable and they do not want to share their personal information just for applying for job.

In my opinion, while applying for job instead of asking for employer's personal information company should ask about their own talent, skills and experience related to that particular job because these things are more required for a job rather than gaining personal information of employers. They can get information related to their interest or hobbies but not like they are either married or single because there are some information should be remain only till employer itself not for workplace.

In conclusion, there are some people who believe that people should tell about their personal information such as - hobbies, interest, married or single while applying for job, while others do not agree with this statement.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is limited. For instance, the argument regarding why employers might want personal information is vague, mentioning only 'nature of the candidate' without specific examples. Similarly, the counter-argument is brief. To reach a higher band, you need to extend your ideas with more detailed explanations or concrete examples. The conclusion is also somewhat repetitive, merely restating the prompt rather than summarising the main points discussed in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use basic cohesive devices like 'However' and 'In conclusion' to signal shifts in the argument. However, the progression of ideas within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical. For example, the transition between the introduction and the first body paragraph is abrupt. Additionally, the use of referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the phrase 'these things' in the fourth paragraph, which could be more explicitly linked to the preceding list of skills and experience. Improving the variety of linking words would enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but remains quite basic and repetitive. You frequently use the phrase 'applying for a job' and 'personal information' throughout the text. There is an attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, but it lacks precision. For example, you use 'employer's personal information' when you actually mean the 'employee's' or 'applicant's' personal details. To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms and collocations related to the workplace and recruitment process to demonstrate a wider range of lexical control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For example, 'how they are going to deal with any difficult if they face' is grammatically incorrect and confusing. There are also issues with article usage ('for job' instead of 'for a job') and subject-verb agreement ('there are some information should be remain'). While the meaning is generally understandable, these recurring errors prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on sentence construction and proofreading for basic errors would be beneficial.

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