Band 8.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 8.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 8.5)

During the recruitment process, some companies request personal details such as an applicant's hobbies or marital status, and opinions are divided over whether this practice is justified. While I understand the rationale behind collecting such information, I believe it is largely unnecessary and potentially discriminatory.

Those in favour of this practice argue that personal information can offer a fuller picture of a candidate beyond their qualifications on paper. Hobbies, for instance, may reveal transferable qualities such as teamwork, discipline, or leadership; an applicant who captains a local football team, for example, might demonstrate the same organisational skills required in a managerial role. Similarly, knowing whether a candidate is married could help employers anticipate their availability for overtime or relocation, since someone with young children may have more constrained schedules than a single applicant. From this perspective, such details are seen as practical indicators of workplace suitability.

However, critics contend that this information is irrelevant to job performance and opens the door to unconscious bias. A candidate's marital status has no bearing on their competence, yet it could still influence hiring decisions, disadvantaging single people or those with families. The same applies to hobbies, which are a matter of personal life and should not determine professional opportunities. Furthermore, many countries now have employment legislation designed specifically to prevent discrimination based on such personal circumstances, reflecting a broader consensus that recruitment should focus strictly on merit.

In my view, employers should limit their enquiries to information directly relevant to the role, such as qualifications, experience, and demonstrable skills. While hobbies might occasionally be worth mentioning in an interview to show personality, they should never form the basis of a hiring decision, and questions about marital status seem entirely unwarranted in a professional context.

In conclusion, although personal information might offer employers additional context about a candidate, I believe recruitment decisions should be based primarily on professional merit rather than private circumstances.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 8.5

The response fully addresses all parts of the task. You have clearly presented both sides of the argument—the potential benefits of personal information in recruitment and the ethical concerns regarding discrimination—while maintaining a consistent personal position throughout. The ideas are well-developed, particularly the example of the football captain to illustrate transferable skills and the discussion on employment legislation. The conclusion effectively synthesises your arguments, ensuring the response is balanced and focused. The position is clear from the introduction and is supported logically throughout the essay, meeting the requirements for a high band score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 8.5

The essay is logically organised with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the transition between the opposing views and your own opinion is seamless. You have used a variety of cohesive devices effectively, such as 'While I understand', 'Similarly', 'However', and 'Furthermore', which help to guide the reader through your argument. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different stages of your discussion. The flow is natural, and the relationship between sentences is clear, demonstrating a high level of control over the structure of the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 8.5

You demonstrate a wide and sophisticated range of vocabulary that is used with precision. Phrases such as 'rationale behind collecting', 'transferable qualities', 'unconscious bias', and 'demonstrable skills' show a high level of lexical control. The vocabulary is not only accurate but also appropriate for the formal tone required in an IELTS essay. There are no noticeable errors in word choice or collocation, and you successfully incorporate less common items to express complex ideas clearly. The language is natural and contributes significantly to the overall quality of the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 9.0

The essay displays a wide range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences with multiple clauses, such as 'While hobbies might occasionally be worth mentioning in an interview to show personality, they should never form the basis of a hiring decision'. Punctuation is used accurately throughout, and the majority of sentences are error-free. You demonstrate excellent control over verb tenses and modal verbs, which are essential for discussing hypothetical situations and expressing opinions. The writing is fluent, and there are no grammatical slips that impede communication or distract the reader.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.