Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, applicants have to go through lengthy hiring process before they receive a final offer of employment. In this process, employer sometimes ask for personal details such as hobbies and interests, and marital status. Some people argue that this type of information is unnecessary, and should not be asked for by the employer. While, others have an opposite opinion. In my opinion, these details are useful as these describe our personality traits and future plans. However, it also invade our privacy.

Firstly, when employers ask for our spare time activities they come to know about our personality. It helps them to know that what are our interests and which skills we learn in free time, which could improve our performance at our workplace. Secondly, when employers ask for our marital status, it helps them to know that what our plans might be for the future. Most people change their job before getting married. Contrarily, married people are settled in their lives and they are unlikely to leave their workplace. For example, in a report published by Forbes in 2025, it has stated that about 89% of people who quit their jobs were single.

On the other hand, when employers ask for our personal information, it invade our privacy. Some people prefer to keep their personal details confidential and do not prefer to disclose it to their colleagues and managers. However, when they are asked about their hobbies or martial status, it invades their privacy.

In conclusion, although sharing our personal details with employers might disclose our privacy. It is useful for the employers to know our interests and preferences in a better way. Therefore, there is no harm in sharing these details with the employers. However, proper policies should be followed to protect this information from unauthorized people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the link between hobbies and workplace performance, and the argument regarding marital status and job stability. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. The example provided regarding the Forbes report is a good attempt at supporting an argument, but the overall analysis remains a bit superficial. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on the implications of these arguments more thoroughly, perhaps by discussing the ethical balance between employer needs and employee rights in greater detail.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme. You use basic cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, the transition between the introduction and the first body paragraph is slightly abrupt, and some sentences within paragraphs feel a bit disjointed. The use of referencing is generally clear, but the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of cohesive devices to link ideas more fluidly rather than relying on simple sequence markers.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'confidential', 'unauthorized', and 'personality traits'. However, there are some noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'it invade our privacy' (should be 'invades') and 'martial status' (a spelling error for 'marital'). The repetition of phrases like 'ask for our' and 'it helps them to know' limits the sophistication of your writing. To improve, focus on using more precise synonyms and ensuring correct word forms to convey your ideas with greater accuracy and variety.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that detract from the quality of the writing. For instance, 'employer sometimes ask' (subject-verb agreement), 'it invade our privacy' (verb form), and 'it has stated' (incorrect tense usage). Additionally, there are punctuation issues, such as the sentence fragment 'Although sharing our personal details with employers might disclose our privacy.' which should be connected to the following clause. Increasing your control over basic grammar and ensuring subject-verb agreement will significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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