Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Companies requires personal information of employees, while applying for a job. There is an argument going on this notion, a group of people believe its irrelevant, however others believe its important. In forthcoming paragraphs, I will discuss both notions.

Firstly, people on the supporting side gives arguments that their are several benefits of providing personal information. An individual personal data may provide insight to an employer about a worker like or dislike. It can help to decide that on which particular position they might be suitable. While these personal data may use in some emergency conditions at workplace. Nowadays, everyone has privacy, people use screen lock to secure their data. If an individual may fall sick while working at their workplace, the personal data that he/she filled while joining may use in those emergency conditions.

On the other hand, people on the opposing side also have some valid points. Despite of asking about the their others skills like organizing skills or management skills, which might be useful for the success of an organization; employers are discussing about their hobbies and personal likes which is completely irrelevant. Instead of taking on the personal things, recruiters should discuss their past experiences, skills they possess and their vision that how they can help to succeed their vision.

In conclusion, asking for personal information may help employer in certain emergency conditions, but it is more valuable that if they can ask employee about their past experiences and past achievements for the success of the organization.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, meeting the basic requirements of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding emergency situations is repetitive and lacks specific, real-world examples. The opposing view is better developed, but the overall discussion remains quite superficial. To achieve a higher band, you should aim to provide more depth and specific illustrations for each point, ensuring that your arguments are fully extended rather than just stated. Your position is clear, but the supporting evidence needs more substance to fully satisfy the requirements of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' to signal transitions. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where referencing is unclear, such as the phrase 'their others skills' or the vague use of 'they' in the second paragraph. The logical progression is present, but the use of cohesive devices could be more sophisticated and varied to improve the overall flow of the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. However, the range is somewhat limited and repetitive. There are several instances of awkward word choices or incorrect collocations, such as 'taking on the personal things' instead of 'focusing on personal details' and 'their are several benefits' (a grammatical error affecting lexical accuracy). You rely on basic vocabulary and struggle to incorporate less common or more precise lexical items. To improve, focus on learning topic-specific collocations and synonyms to avoid repetition and enhance the sophistication of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('Companies requires', 'people... gives arguments'), incorrect preposition usage ('Despite of asking'), and awkward phrasing ('their vision that how they can help'). While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed accurately.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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