Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In the job market, there is a diversity of employers with different schools and perspectives. Some employers believe they require to collect personal information about their candidates to assess future commitments and other factors, while others believe it's unnecessary information that should remain private and are not useful to employers. In this essay, I'll be explaining both views including the pros and cons and I'll be concluding by stating my personal view.

Employers requiring personal information from candidates often do it to assess several factors before hiring an employee. An example would be whether they would need to provide an insurance package just for the candidate or for his family and dependents as well. In addition to that, it gives them a perspective on how committed the employee will be within his employment period through understanding the obligations he has at the moment, such as whether he is married or not. Additionally, understanding candidates hobbies and interests help them better understand the employee's personality and whether they have interests beyond just work.

On the contrary, some people believe this is intrusive and a breach of candidate's privacy. In fact, many people believe that the hiring decision should not be biased and should solely focus on candidates' skills rather than their marital status or personal interests. Additionally, the other view presents that personal information should remain private and a candidate should have the right to refuse revealing personal information.

In my opinion, the process of evaluating a candidate should not be biased or based on personal matters. I believe that a subjective evaluation is important to provide equal opportunities to everyone regardless of their marital status, hobbies or other personal factors. For example, if there are two candidates, one married and another single, both should be evaluated using the same factors without letting their marital status affect the decision. It's crucial not to let any personal biases affect the hiring decision to ensure a fair selection of qualified candidates.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of insurance costs and the potential for bias in hiring. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the argument regarding hobbies could be expanded to explain why an employer might view them as a proxy for 'cultural fit' or 'soft skills'. The position is consistent throughout, and the essay structure follows the requirements of the task well. To reach a higher band, the student should aim to provide more nuanced examples or deeper analysis of the implications of these hiring practices.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. Cohesive devices such as 'In addition to that', 'On the contrary', and 'In my opinion' are used effectively to link sentences and paragraphs. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing could be more sophisticated. For instance, the phrase 'the other view presents that' is slightly awkward. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate, and the information is presented in a coherent manner that guides the reader through the argument without difficulty.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary used is generally accurate and sufficient for the task. The student uses some topic-specific language like 'hiring decision', 'marital status', and 'subjective evaluation'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there is a reliance on simpler vocabulary. There are also minor issues with word choice, such as 'there is a diversity of employers with different schools and perspectives', where 'schools' is used incorrectly to mean 'schools of thought'. To improve, the student should incorporate more precise collocations and less common lexical items to demonstrate a wider range and better control of nuance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical errors that persist. For example, 'they require to collect' should be 'they require collecting' or 'they need to collect'. Additionally, 'the other view presents that' is grammatically awkward. There are also minor issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as 'candidate's hobbies' (should be 'candidates' hobbies'). While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the essay from reaching the higher bands where a majority of sentences should be error-free.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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