Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Management ask for personal details like hobbies and interests as well as married or single while apply for job. some of them say this information may be help full while other disagree to this. Here i would like discuss both views and my opinion on this base on my experience and knowledge.

However, collecting information like hobbies and interests as well as married or single will help employer whenever they are arranging some events. Their are some seats reserved for sport person at that moment your hobbies help you to get that job. For example, if company organized party and they have data of employee which game and food they like, that would be easy for them to arrange make their task easy.

In addition may some people do not like to share their personal information, because they wants to keep it private and they think that their is no meaning of giving information like hobbies and interest. Moreover they are hiring base on knowledge not on hobbies. For example if someone apply for job and they will not check he is playing cricket well so let hire him, they check his knowledge as well as skilled he has in his field.

My opinion is that if they information like hobbies and interests and married or single they will get an idea. Now a days corporate company has inter match of different game. so if they such information they can came a team easily. For example one company has volleyball game and company have share data with other employee they can contact each other very fast they do not have to wait for the list.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, meeting the basic requirements of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the argument regarding 'arranging events' is used in both the first and final paragraphs, which weakens the depth of the discussion. The position is clear, but the supporting examples, such as the mention of 'volleyball games' or 'cricket', are slightly simplistic and do not fully explore the professional implications of collecting personal data. To improve, you should aim to provide more sophisticated reasoning regarding the balance between workplace culture and privacy rights.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'Moreover', and 'For example' to link sentences. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'Now a days corporate company has inter match of different game'. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs could be smoother to create a more cohesive argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic terms like 'help full', 'easy', and 'data'. There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'inter match of different game' and 'they can came a team'. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary related to human resources, workplace policy, and data privacy, and ensure that words are used in their correct grammatical form.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Management ask', 'company has inter match'), article usage (e.g., 'if company organized party'), and tense consistency. There are also punctuation errors and missing words, such as 'if they such information' instead of 'if they have such information'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band score.

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