Band 7.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 7.5)
In recent years, many companies have started asking employees for private information when applying for a job, such as their hobbies, interests, and marital status. Some people agree and believe that this information is relevant and useful, while others disagree. This essay will discuss both sides and give my own opinion in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, people who are in support of providing this information believe that this can help an employer to assess the flexibility of an employee. A company can provide a job offer based on personality and potential. For example, information about hobbies and interests may indicate whether the candidate is sociable, creative or able to work in a team. Moreover, knowing an employee’s personal circumstances can sometimes help a company arrange suitable working schedules or responsibilities. As a result, employers may be able to make better decisions when selecting candidates and create a more comfortable working environment for their staff.
On the other hand, opponents argue that asking for private information during the recruitment process can be unnecessary and unfair. Hobbies, interests, and marital status do not determine a person's ability to perform duties. For example, they may think that an unmarried man may become the favourite of their boss because he can provide flexibility, whereas a married man has family responsibilities and might not be able to work overtime if needed. Therefore, recruitment decisions should primarily be based on professional qualifications, experience and relevant skills rather than personal circumstances.
In conclusion, although some people believe that private information can help employers understand candidates and make better decisions, others argue that it is unnecessary and may lead to discrimination. In my opinion, companies should only ask for personal information that is directly relevant to the job and should primarily base their hiring decisions on an applicant’s qualifications, experience and skills.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 8.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 7.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 7.5 |
| Overall | 7.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
The response addresses all parts of the prompt. You have clearly discussed both sides of the argument and provided a personal opinion in the conclusion. The ideas are relevant and logically developed. For instance, the argument regarding 'flexibility' and 'personality' is well-supported with examples like 'sociable' or 'creative' traits. The counter-argument regarding potential discrimination based on marital status is also clearly articulated. To reach a higher band, you could further extend your own opinion in the body paragraphs rather than just the conclusion, perhaps by suggesting how companies can balance these needs without infringing on privacy.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 8.0
The essay is well-organised with a clear structure. Each paragraph has a central topic, and the progression of ideas is logical. You use a variety of cohesive devices effectively, such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. These transitions help the reader follow your argument easily. The paragraphing is appropriate, with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The referencing is clear throughout, and there is no evidence of mechanical or repetitive usage of linking words.
Lexical Resource — Band 7.0
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with precision. Phrases like 'recruitment process', 'professional qualifications', and 'personal circumstances' are used accurately. You attempt some less common vocabulary, such as 'discriminate' and 'flexibility', which fits the context well. There are no significant spelling or word-choice errors that impede communication. To improve further, you could incorporate more sophisticated collocations or idiomatic expressions to demonstrate a wider, more flexible range of lexical items.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.5
The essay displays a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Your control of grammar is generally strong, with very few errors. For example, the use of conditional-like structures ('if needed') and complex noun phrases is accurate. Punctuation is used correctly throughout. The sentences are error-free for the most part, and the few minor slips do not interfere with the clarity of your message. To reach a higher band, ensure you vary your sentence length and structure even more to demonstrate full flexibility.
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