Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is widely acknowledged that employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people believe that this information may be relevant and useful. While others disagree with this statement. I strongly agree with view of employers collecting personal details while people applying for jobs because it enables them to know about their personality.

Some people don't focus on requirement of jobs while trying to achieve a desired jobs, so employers gather some information to get an idea about their personality which makes them more convienent for the selection of employees with desired requirements. It assists them to choose people according to their requirements. For instance, companies provide employment opportunities according to their requirements so, employers gather people details to make their work convenient and saves a lot of time to achieve better employees.

On the other hand, some people believe that collecting personal details are useless or wasting of time. This is because it is a time consuming processing which makes it more difficult to solve. For example, large amount of people apply for jobs and gathering everyone's details can be difficult and wastes valuable time of both the parties. So from my perspective, collecting personal details can be beneficial for both employees and employer's on long term basis.

To conclude, Although taking information from people can be time consuming process but for long benefits to the company it is better to gather their personal information to get an idea about their personality which makes easier to select the people for specific jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. For example, the argument that personal information helps employers understand personality is mentioned multiple times without specific examples of how hobbies or marital status actually translate into job performance. The reasoning remains quite general, and the explanation of why some people disagree is underdeveloped, focusing primarily on the 'time-consuming' aspect rather than privacy concerns or relevance. To improve, you should provide more concrete examples and explore the implications of these practices more thoroughly to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'For instance,' 'On the other hand,' and 'To conclude,' which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'While others disagree with this statement' (which is a sentence fragment). Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear; for example, in the second paragraph, the pronoun 'their' is used repeatedly, making it ambiguous whether it refers to the employers, the applicants, or the requirements. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words will enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic phrasing such as 'get an idea about,' 'gather information,' and 'desired requirements.' There are also some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'convienent' (spelling error) and 'wasting of time' (should be 'a waste of time'). To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations and topic-specific vocabulary related to human resources, recruitment, and professional ethics, rather than repeating the same simple terms throughout the essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'collecting personal details are'), incorrect preposition usage, and punctuation errors. For instance, the sentence 'Although taking information from people can be time consuming process but...' is grammatically incorrect because 'although' and 'but' should not be used in the same clause. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher level of accuracy. Focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement.

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