Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In modern society people hold differing views about sharing personal information for professional purposes. While some believe that it useful to share this information with employers others oppose the entire view. This essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own opinion.

On the one hand, supporters of the first view argue that sharing this information helps in the recruitment process. This is mainly because it gives an overview about individual’s personality and traits, which can be useful for the role they are applying. As a result, companies can select their most suitable employee for the job. For example, most companies have pre screening questionnaires where candidates are required to give personal information so that companies can have an information before the interview round.

On the other hand, those who oppose this view believe that sharing private information is breach of privacy. They claim that, this information could be leaked in future to telemarketing companies as there is lack of transparency, which allows them to directly communicate with candidates in order to sell products. Which can lead to scams, cyber crimes or harassment. Moreover, using other’s personal information for personal benefit is unlawful and illegal and offenders can face serious consequences, making this perspective equally worthy of consideration.

In my opinion, not sharing is more convincing. This is because lack of transparency and malicious practices done with someone else’s private information. Although the opposing argument has some merit, it is less practical in real-life situations.

In conclusion, both views regarding sharing private information to companies while applying for a job has valid arguments. Whoever, I believe that not sharing is the more reasonable position due to its long-term benefit

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the recruitment process and privacy concerns. However, the development is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding 'telemarketing' and 'scams' is a bit speculative and could have been better supported with more concrete examples of how personal data is misused. The conclusion is brief and repeats the points made earlier without adding depth. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is fully explored with specific examples or logical consequences.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'Whoever, I believe', which is an incorrect use of a cohesive marker. Additionally, some sentences are fragmented or lack smooth flow, such as the sentence starting with 'Which can lead to...'. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will enhance the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey their meaning clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'recruitment process', 'transparency', and 'malicious practices'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are occasional errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'breach of privacy' (missing an article 'a') and 'done with someone else’s private information' (which is slightly unnatural). To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('a breach', 'the recruitment process') and sentence fragments. For example, 'Which can lead to scams...' is a dependent clause used as a full sentence. There are also minor punctuation and subject-verb agreement issues, such as 'both views... has valid arguments'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on sentence boundary control and article usage will be beneficial.

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