Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Nowadays, it is often argued that some employers ask for the personal information when people apply for the job and agree that this is relevant and useful. While some people believe that collecting ones data is not appropriate. This essay will discuss both views before presenting my opinion.
One one hand, one significant reason behind colleting the information in substance to hobbies, qualification, interests or their martial status can play the significant role. This is because before hiring people the employer should know every crucial and minute details regarding the person so that in future there should not be any complication. For instance- If the company is not well familiar with the employees background check, the person might be obligised to the criminal record and in future it can create the trouble for the entire eompany.
On the other hand, all the information regarding the person should be kept confidential. It is everyone's personal choice whether to declare their confidentiality towards the company or keep it private. Another important point is we live in the democratic country where everyone has the choice to say No or Yes regarding anything. For example- If the person is not comfortable in sharing their martial status or gender, the company should understand the situation right away. The employee should be known from the amount of work he/she is doing or contributing to the company.
In conclusion, although both the viewpoints have merit, I believe that the company should ask he questions that will effect the organization rather than dealing with the personal questions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion in the conclusion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding criminal records is a bit of a leap when discussing hobbies or marital status, which are the core of the prompt. The ideas are relevant but could be extended with more nuanced reasoning. The position is consistent, but the depth of analysis is more characteristic of a Band 6.0, as some points are under-developed or slightly tangential to the specific examples requested.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand' and 'In conclusion', though some transitions feel a bit mechanical. There are minor issues with referencing and flow, such as the awkward phrasing in the introduction ('collecting ones data'). Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two viewpoints, which helps the reader follow the argument. Overall, the structure is coherent, but the use of cohesive devices lacks the flexibility required for a higher band.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision needed for a higher score. There are several instances of awkward word choice or minor errors, such as 'obligised to the criminal record' and 'well familiar with'. The student attempts to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'confidential' and 'democratic', but the overall range is somewhat limited. Spelling errors, such as 'eompany' and 'martial' (instead of marital), are present, though they do not significantly impede communication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally affect the clarity of the message, such as 'the person might be obligised to the criminal record' and 'the employee should be known from the amount of work'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of hyphens and commas. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the response from reaching a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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