Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

In the process of job applications, job recruiters often ask questions regarding the personal life of the applicants including their subject of interests, hobbies, marital status and so on. Some individuals argue that these details are important for the employers and the company while others strongly deny it. In this essay, I will examine both perspectives. As far as my opinion goes, employers should not ask for such information to determine the suitability of the employee for the given job position.

On the one hand, the personal information given to the recruiters during job application can be helpful for them to understand the candidate's characteristic and hence determine the suitability of the position. For instance, if a person plays certain sports, then this could demonstrate their ability of performing well in a team while knowledge of foreign language could highlight their ability and willingness to learn new skills. Additionally, by learning the marital status of the applicant, employer can find out the flexibility and family responsibilities of the fellow candidate that might be useful in jobs that require constant travelling, relocation or long hours.

On the other hand, those who argue that the personal information should not be disclosed, believes that this can lead to discrimination and bias as the job requires the talent rather than their interests in particular subject matters or their relationship status. Some employers uses this information to make assumptions about the gender, age, ethnicity, which could lead in unfair treatment or a missed opportunity for the perfect candidate. To give an example, a married woman might be perceived as less committed and more likely to avoid long hours. Additionally, providing personal information may not be relevant to the job application and can also be considered as an invasion of the privacy.

In my opinion, employers should not ask for personal information in the job application as it might lead to unfair selection for the vacant position. Discrimination based on sex, ethnicity, age or their marital status is not acceptable and should not be the criteria whether to select or reject the candidate. I believe it is more appropriate to judge the applicants based on their education level, skillset, qualification and work experience, rather than the personal information.

In conclusion, employers should focus on hiring the candidates based on their knowledge in the subject matter, qualifications and their work experience rather than invading their privacy. This way, the job recruitment process will be more transparent and effective.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5

You have addressed all parts of the prompt, providing a balanced discussion of both views and a clear personal opinion. Your position is consistent throughout the essay. The ideas are well-developed, particularly in the second and third paragraphs where you provide specific examples, such as the mention of team sports and the potential for gender bias regarding marital status. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting arguments are slightly more nuanced; for instance, you could briefly acknowledge that some personal information might be relevant in specific niche industries, which would add depth to your analysis.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. You use a variety of cohesive devices effectively, such as 'On the one hand,' 'Additionally,' and 'In conclusion,' which help guide the reader through your arguments. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the topic. The transition between the discussion of the two views and your own opinion is smooth. To improve further, ensure that referencing is always precise; for example, in the third paragraph, 'those who argue... believes' contains a subject-verb agreement error that slightly disrupts the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with precision. Phrases like 'determine the suitability,' 'flexibility and family responsibilities,' and 'invasion of the privacy' are used correctly. You attempt some less common collocations, which is positive. However, there are occasional minor inaccuracies, such as 'subject of interests' (should be 'subjects of interest') and 'uses this information' (should be 'use'). To achieve a higher score, focus on refining these collocations and incorporating more sophisticated, academic synonyms to avoid repetition of words like 'information' and 'job'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. There is good control over punctuation and sentence construction. However, there are some persistent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('those who argue... believes' and 'employer can find out'—should be 'employers can find out'). Additionally, there are minor errors with articles and prepositions, such as 'in the job application' (often 'on') and 'the criteria whether to select' (should be 'the criteria for selecting'). These errors do not impede communication, but they prevent the essay from reaching the higher bands.

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