Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this contemporary era, all folks are interested in working for high paying jobs and benefits. In this world, all people are trying to get good jobs and work which will help them to make their life more stabbled and valuable person in the socity, although recruters are cheking the knowledge of any perticuler role and skills by asking different kind of questions like applicants' hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people in this world accepting that this is fair to ask, while some of them are denied on this view.

On the one hand, it is better to ask for hobbies and interest. Firstly, as per psycology, if someone is more interested in any perticuter skill or hobby which emphythisis them to get more knowledge about that skill and being more enthusiastic for thoes tasks where they can use their interest and knowledge. This is the concrete asspect because by getting this important information of any applicants would be helpfull to evaluate that the person would suitable or not for that specific position.

On the other hand, the multinational companies do not need and accept to get this kind of information form job seekers. Whether the applicant is married or unmarried is not a kind of the information which could be usefull anywhere in their hiring process and in their job duties after they got hired. Futhermore, if a person is investing his/her time and efforts for any perticuler skill to get it more polish which means he/she is interested in it.

To conclude, in my opinion it totally depense on job role and position wihich has such type of questions to fill in the application form. For instance, if somebody is applying for a tutor job he/she has to shoocase their interest so they can easly evaluate that the person would be fit for the position or not.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, meeting the basic requirements of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding personal information like marital status is mentioned but not fully explored in terms of its potential relevance or irrelevance to professional performance. The conclusion is a bit abrupt and does not fully synthesise the points made. To reach a higher band, you should provide more detailed explanations and specific examples for each viewpoint to ensure the ideas are fully extended rather than just stated.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of your argument. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'To conclude' to signal shifts in focus. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the flow between sentences is slightly disjointed. For example, the transition between the discussion of hobbies and the conclusion could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing (e.g., 'this information') is always clear would enhance the cohesion of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. However, there are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'stabbled', 'socity', 'recruters', 'cheking', 'perticuler', 'psycology', 'emphythisis', 'asspect', 'wihich', 'shoocase') and some awkward word choices that occasionally impede the flow. You rely on a somewhat limited range of vocabulary, often repeating basic terms. To improve, focus on learning the correct spelling of common academic words and try to incorporate more precise, topic-specific collocations related to employment and human resources.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Some people in this world accepting'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'some of them are denied'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'it totally depense on job role'). While these errors do not completely prevent the reader from understanding your message, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To achieve a higher score, you should focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and practice using more complex sentence structures with greater precision.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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