Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-09
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
When applying for job, the question is whether to include personal information on their resume arrives, while some individual totally oppose this idea. As per my perspective sharing personal information as requested by the employee is temporary and it helps company to know about the employ in better way.
Many companies require personal information from employ for various reasons, for example, individual must provide data to apply for insurance, which ultimately help him to get the essential benefits of medical services and help him or her to get discount in pharmacy and hospitals.
On the other hand some people thinks that providing variety of personal data might put them in risk. For instance they think that employee can misuse their personal information such as taking out loan on their name.
In my point of view advantages of sharing more data with employers outweigh the drawbacks. while sharing the information is not temporary but helps employee to deeper understand their employ. for instance, in case of emergency they knows whom to contact. Those with the spouse informed them or single with their individual family member. Additionally, hobbies and interest allow company to know about your job profile and help them to decide which position will be best suitable for you. Furthermore many companies like to acknowledge about employee's birthday, which requires knowing more about them.
Overall, the issue of sharing personal data with employers is a significant concern in today's society. While some individuals oppose sharing more data, others believe it is crucial. Employers often need detailed personnel information for registration with insurance companies.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding insurance is relevant, but the explanation of how hobbies help in job placement is quite brief and lacks depth. The essay covers all parts of the prompt, but the supporting points could be more thoroughly extended to reach a higher band. The position is consistent throughout, though the reasoning occasionally feels repetitive or slightly underdeveloped, particularly in the final paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the other hand', 'For instance', and 'Additionally', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'Those with the spouse informed them or single with their individual family member', which is syntactically confusing and disrupts the flow of the argument. Paragraphing is present but could be more effectively utilized to separate distinct ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey their meaning. However, there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'the question... arrives' instead of 'arises', and 'employ' used as a noun instead of 'employee'. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive, relying on basic terms. To improve, the student should focus on using more precise terminology related to professional environments and avoid confusing word forms (e.g., 'employ' vs 'employee').
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('some people thinks'), article usage, and pluralization ('individual must provide data'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some run-on sentences and missing commas. These errors are noticeable and occasionally impede the reader's understanding, though they do not completely obscure the message. A greater focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would significantly improve the score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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